Phew! Its been 8 months of singledom, and man oh man, the new lingo I am picking up never seems to cease. This also appears to be one of the more popular topics that I write about, so here are some new dating/single/seeing/relationship terms for y'all!
1. The Stand Up Guy: according to Urban Dictionary (woot woot! new fav website!), this is a Mafia term (something that is akin to my blood) that refers to a businessman that is not one to bullshit, can be trusted and will do anything for his family. This type of guy when on the dating hunt, is very very elusive. Only coming out in the daylight when all of us gals are at work. This guy is the one that we all wish we were dating, because we know that he won't downgrade our dates or stand us up, that he will return calls and txts promptly, that he wont go out and get smashed the night before meeting our parents for brunch, he holds down continuous employment, can dress himself, knows how to act accordingly in a group setting and has overall incredible hygiene. This is a much like a unicorn, but if you take a close look at your guy friend roster, you more than likely have a few hiding out.
2. The Year of Trampage: this is a year free of judgement for a lady or gentleman (then refered to the Year of Manwhore), where a person is permitted to do whomever, where ever, when ever. In order to qualify for the Year of Trampage/Manwhore one must have broken up from a significant relationship recently, and by significant, we are talking 3 years plus. If under the 3 year requirement, the year can then be reduced to 6 months for 2 years and 3 months for 1 year and so on. Friends of either a man or woman that is participating in this Year, must remember that this is a no judgement year, so close your eyes, plug your ears and smile!
3. The Downgraded Date: this is my new favorite term by far. Boy asks girl (all scenarios can easily be switched around), on a date on a Sunday. Girl accepts. Girl confirms date is still a go on Thursday. Boy then "magically" remembers a friends birthday party for the time of the date planned. Boy offers to cancel, but expresses that he still really wants to see the Girl, so "how about the afternoon instead?". Do not be confused, this IS the proverbial slap in the face. Through use of non verbal communication, Boy has then told Girl that "she is not a priority over and above drinking with buddies and therefore should not waste her time with me". Ladies, move on. This is NOT a stand up guy. Now, as an exception to most things, life does come into play, such as a death, car accident ect. But should be treated on a case by case basis. Tread lightly.
4. The Stand Up: this is a tactic employed by both guys and gals who do not wish to participate in a date, and is generally used in place of being a real person and calling/txting to cancel. People who engage this strategy are usually cowards, or cocky POS's, that honestly think that the person they made plans with is of a lower class/status than they are. What they are forgetting is that its the other way around. In chatting with a number of my guy friends, not one of them has ever stood a girl up. They have at least done their best to use any form of communication to cancel or reschedule the date. Ladies and gents, it takes 2 seconds to send a txt, don't be a namby pamby.
5. The Pimp Bench: this is a post break up or Year of Trampage/Manwhore, rotation of the opposite sex that you can have a good time with, cause they are super chill. You cycle these people on and off the bench to keep things markedly superficial. This also assist in avoiding the "rebound".
Even though I realized not too long ago that I am much better at being in a relationship than out of one, I am feeling way more at ease with dating this time around. I credit this to figuring out the lingo.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Life is Short
Yesterday, everyone around the country learned that Jack Layton died at home, surrounded by loved ones. He was unsuccessful in his battle with cancer.
When he announced this summer that he was taking a leave of absence for cancer treatment, I like many many others around the country fully believed that he would be back as promised for the fall sitting of Parliament. Hes a fighter. He has tenacity. Strength. And he beat cancer once before. No big deal.
Before learning of his death I was mulling over a number of decisions regarding my single life. Now, politics and love do not go hand in hand usually, but I am going somewhere with this, so bear with me.
I was honestly ready to throw in the towel, to say "screw you love!" and was thinking that may be I was meant to be single for the rest of my life and have very torrid love affairs instead. I was thinking that may be there isn't one person for each of us. That there isn't such thing as a soul mate. Heck, I even went so far as to name my closest besties as my soul mates to help alleviate pressure off of myself in finding that "special someone".
A lot of these feelings had been brought upon by a couple of things.
First, one of my best guys friends has been super down in the dumps for the better part of the last year, may be more. It seriously kills me when I see him like this. He has a sadness about him that is palatable. He loved his ex with a passion that I could only hope to attain one day. And now he is a shell of himself. Not happy with home, work or life really in general. He is generally one of the most optimistic people I know, always happy, excited about life, smiled easily and was so willing to share himself in hopes of finding that special someone.
Knowing him like I do, I thought to myself, if someone that had such zest for love could become embittered towards it, what hope do I have in the grand scheme of things?
The other thing was trying to determine what I really wanted out of love and how much I wanted to give of myself. In the last few months, I have been accused of "being too busy" or "working too much" or "lacking the ability to acknowledge emotional responses from people" ... its hard for me to explain that the reason I do this, is because its a habit. Not because I like it. Its plain and simply a habit. One that was formed out of necessity of not having things to go home to at night, so keep busy and by the time you do get home, its time for bed! Call it avoidance or a defense mechanism, whatever. Habits are hard to break and frankly, I have no idea what I would do with the time on hand otherwise.
And then, Jack Layton died.
I read his letter to Canadians in full. And the ending of the letter, as for most people, brought tears to my eyes. I certainly did not agree with the man's politics, but I do fully agree with his last words:
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world"
I readily admit that I was angry, fearful and was on my way to being in despair. But life is short. Too short. I no longer have time to be angry, fearful or even think of despair. It's time to stop dipping my big toe in the water to test the temperature. It's time to just jump right in with both feet, cause hey! that's optimism right? Thanks Jack.
When he announced this summer that he was taking a leave of absence for cancer treatment, I like many many others around the country fully believed that he would be back as promised for the fall sitting of Parliament. Hes a fighter. He has tenacity. Strength. And he beat cancer once before. No big deal.
Before learning of his death I was mulling over a number of decisions regarding my single life. Now, politics and love do not go hand in hand usually, but I am going somewhere with this, so bear with me.
I was honestly ready to throw in the towel, to say "screw you love!" and was thinking that may be I was meant to be single for the rest of my life and have very torrid love affairs instead. I was thinking that may be there isn't one person for each of us. That there isn't such thing as a soul mate. Heck, I even went so far as to name my closest besties as my soul mates to help alleviate pressure off of myself in finding that "special someone".
A lot of these feelings had been brought upon by a couple of things.
First, one of my best guys friends has been super down in the dumps for the better part of the last year, may be more. It seriously kills me when I see him like this. He has a sadness about him that is palatable. He loved his ex with a passion that I could only hope to attain one day. And now he is a shell of himself. Not happy with home, work or life really in general. He is generally one of the most optimistic people I know, always happy, excited about life, smiled easily and was so willing to share himself in hopes of finding that special someone.
Knowing him like I do, I thought to myself, if someone that had such zest for love could become embittered towards it, what hope do I have in the grand scheme of things?
The other thing was trying to determine what I really wanted out of love and how much I wanted to give of myself. In the last few months, I have been accused of "being too busy" or "working too much" or "lacking the ability to acknowledge emotional responses from people" ... its hard for me to explain that the reason I do this, is because its a habit. Not because I like it. Its plain and simply a habit. One that was formed out of necessity of not having things to go home to at night, so keep busy and by the time you do get home, its time for bed! Call it avoidance or a defense mechanism, whatever. Habits are hard to break and frankly, I have no idea what I would do with the time on hand otherwise.
And then, Jack Layton died.
I read his letter to Canadians in full. And the ending of the letter, as for most people, brought tears to my eyes. I certainly did not agree with the man's politics, but I do fully agree with his last words:
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world"
I readily admit that I was angry, fearful and was on my way to being in despair. But life is short. Too short. I no longer have time to be angry, fearful or even think of despair. It's time to stop dipping my big toe in the water to test the temperature. It's time to just jump right in with both feet, cause hey! that's optimism right? Thanks Jack.
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