In thinking about what has happened over the last 2 months and the ramifications that have come along with each decision, I wonder if in creating the perfect storm I have actually equated things into a giant hot mess...
1. Promoted at work to Lead Instructor.
PLUS SIDE: This means my schedule is Monday to Friday, instead of all over the place, and I never have to leave the building to teach unless there is a dire need or I would like to. I also now have underground heated parking, a key to the building and my own dedicated classroom.
DOWN SIDE: the other instructors, especially those that have been there a while really REALLY dislike me now. I have had my car vandalized (hence the underground parking), been called names, had rumors start about me (most of them are seriously laughable though) and most recently have been verbally attacked in my classroom in front of an instructor that I have been training - that happened today so I had to throw that in.
OVERALL: I love my job. I can deal with this high school drama by ignoring it. And by filing properly filled out complaint forms.
2. A day after I was promoted, I ended the 4 year relationship that I had been participating in.
PLUS SIDE: I smile more. I am more relaxed. I have more patience. And I laugh more easily.
DOWN SIDE: Aside from the stress of trying to find a new place, there really isn't one. My ex and I became better friends than lovers, due to his unpredictable work schedule.
OVERALL: I have to move. 'Nuff said.
3. I pick up the keys to my new place tomorrow afternoon.
PLUS SIDE: New suite. New paint. New carpet. New kitchen appliances. New bathroom. New lights. Bigger yard for Mr. Ari. A massive deck in the backyard. Cute from afar upstairs neighbours.
DOWN SIDE: My current residence looks like Baghdad. Half packed boxes. Missing shoes (which had better sort it's self out soon, cause missing shoes is just not right). Dishes all over the place. Clothing overflowing from suitcases, that should be used for traveling, not packing from one end of downtown to another. Did I mention that my current residence looks like Baghdad?
OVERALL: I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED!
With each 3 of these things, I look around and think that my life has become one giant hot mess/perfect storm. I should be freaking out right now. My friend MC commented last weekend that I shouldn't want to have another major thing dropped on me, in which my response was "bring it, cause what do I have to lose". I have been ridiculously calm about everything...rolling with punches...going with the flow...and everything has been working out in my favor.
Hot mess/perfect storm be damned. I am so excited for what is yet to come, that I feel like I should be going to Disney Land or World tomorrow morning. And I just might...after I get the new keys.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
The Right to be Bummed Out
This last Easter long weekend I decided that I was starting to go a little stir crazy here in big ol E Town...so I kenneled Mr Ari and headed off down south to somewhat warmer climates aka. Calgary. A friend of mine that I have known for 10 years relocated there a number of years ago and we recently reconnected.
I had a fantastic time. Did a little shopping. Took in a movie. A trip to the gym. Met up with some of MC's friends. But more importantly I relaxed and focused on getting back to centre, which kinda meant that I spent a great deal of time in my own head that weekend. I apologized to MC about this about two thirds of the way through the weekend, to which the response was "No that's totally cool. I enjoy the fact that you can be silent and not try to force conversation". BIG sigh of relief there.
The weekend ended and I had to return to reality...not that big of a deal, I left with the semi formed plan that I would head south again next month, primarily to run a half marathon race, but also to visit again.
Then a bomb of good news drops on my phone this morning...a text letting me know that MC was given a substantial promotion, which is awesome, but it also comes with a relocation to the coastal climate of Vancouver by the June/July time frame.
Vancouver is only a 40-60 minute flight from Edmonton...so not that far, but far enough.
I am so very excited for MC. This is a fantastic opportunity, both professionally and personally too. I love it to no end when my friends succeed in life, whether it keeps them close to where I am or if it takes them to other regions.
I cannot help but think in the end though, do I really have the right to be bummed out by this awesome news?
I had a fantastic time. Did a little shopping. Took in a movie. A trip to the gym. Met up with some of MC's friends. But more importantly I relaxed and focused on getting back to centre, which kinda meant that I spent a great deal of time in my own head that weekend. I apologized to MC about this about two thirds of the way through the weekend, to which the response was "No that's totally cool. I enjoy the fact that you can be silent and not try to force conversation". BIG sigh of relief there.
The weekend ended and I had to return to reality...not that big of a deal, I left with the semi formed plan that I would head south again next month, primarily to run a half marathon race, but also to visit again.
Then a bomb of good news drops on my phone this morning...a text letting me know that MC was given a substantial promotion, which is awesome, but it also comes with a relocation to the coastal climate of Vancouver by the June/July time frame.
Vancouver is only a 40-60 minute flight from Edmonton...so not that far, but far enough.
I am so very excited for MC. This is a fantastic opportunity, both professionally and personally too. I love it to no end when my friends succeed in life, whether it keeps them close to where I am or if it takes them to other regions.
I cannot help but think in the end though, do I really have the right to be bummed out by this awesome news?
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The Most Fantastic Man in My Life
Today was a fantastic day all around...one of my besties was accepted back into the spring semester and had 6 of her classes rolled over into her new program, and I was given the green light to pick up the keys of my new place the last weekend of this month.
The reason why this particular place is so awesome beyond words, everything in the suite is new...new doors, new appliances, new carpet, new paint, new walls, new kitchen, my own washer and dryer that I do not have to share, massive bedroom, 2 walk in closets, but more importantly it is Ari friendly.
Ari is my black and tan floppy eared Doberman, that will be 2 years old this August. How I came to own him is pretty simple - my ex live in boyfriend is in the military and was about to embark on a 3rd tour to Afghanistan...if he wanted to go, I got a dog. We hunted down a breeder and found Ari.
Its funny...cause when the ex and I ended the relationship, the first thing I claimed was the dog lol. Not furniture, nothing co-owned, it was all about keeping Ari.
He had been and continues to be my little guardian...keep in mind that this is the closest thing I will ever get to having children. He gives the best puppy hugs, does high fives, shakes a paw and protects me when I am on my runs downtown. He basically keeps me sane.
So when the time came for the two of us to move, I frantically searched all over town for something that would be suitable for the both of us. I was crippled with fear that I might have to give him up to a new family if I couldn't find a place...so much so that I would start bawling even thinking about it as a possibility. My puppy class instructor commented on how it wouldn't be possible for him to go to another home...she said that the two of us are so bonded that he wouldn't okay if we were separated. If the dog wasn't going to be okay, I did not have a whole lot of hope for myself lol.
So today is a great day. I get to keep my little "family" together.
The reason why this particular place is so awesome beyond words, everything in the suite is new...new doors, new appliances, new carpet, new paint, new walls, new kitchen, my own washer and dryer that I do not have to share, massive bedroom, 2 walk in closets, but more importantly it is Ari friendly.
Ari is my black and tan floppy eared Doberman, that will be 2 years old this August. How I came to own him is pretty simple - my ex live in boyfriend is in the military and was about to embark on a 3rd tour to Afghanistan...if he wanted to go, I got a dog. We hunted down a breeder and found Ari.
Its funny...cause when the ex and I ended the relationship, the first thing I claimed was the dog lol. Not furniture, nothing co-owned, it was all about keeping Ari.
He had been and continues to be my little guardian...keep in mind that this is the closest thing I will ever get to having children. He gives the best puppy hugs, does high fives, shakes a paw and protects me when I am on my runs downtown. He basically keeps me sane.
So when the time came for the two of us to move, I frantically searched all over town for something that would be suitable for the both of us. I was crippled with fear that I might have to give him up to a new family if I couldn't find a place...so much so that I would start bawling even thinking about it as a possibility. My puppy class instructor commented on how it wouldn't be possible for him to go to another home...she said that the two of us are so bonded that he wouldn't okay if we were separated. If the dog wasn't going to be okay, I did not have a whole lot of hope for myself lol.
So today is a great day. I get to keep my little "family" together.
Monday, April 18, 2011
At 30, Can One Still Have Fun?
Recently, I was asked to see if I wanted to grab a group of my girlfriends and head out to the bar sometime in the near future...the person asking was the guy I have been sudo talking to. I say sudo cause it's by text only - no actual voice contact. He is apparently going to be going out with his guy friends the same night, and 'may be' we can get our entourages to meet in the same place by the end of the night, and it will be 'fun'.
This is called the 'pre planned bar drive by'. Its a way for your friends to check out the other person in a totally judgmental way and get away with it. Just to fuel the fire, more than one person at this juncture of the evening will be three sheets to the wind. Which will quickly be followed up with the sentence "so and so really isn't like this for reals. honest" Insert inappropriate words, phrases, looks, grabbing and emotional outbursts, and the next morning is usually very awkward.
I spoke with one of my colleagues today at work about this situation...at which point I received a blank stare followed quickly by the words "I don't like this and in my opinion his stock is decreasing. At 30, do you really want to be stressed out all night about potentially seeing this guy all drunk and then getting super bummed if for whatever reason you guys do not run into each other by accident on purpose? No. Make him take you to dinner. Coffee. Drinks. Something other than this."
And she is absolutely right. I have grown past that bar scene drama. I was raised with the sound logic that if you work hard and manage your responsibilities well, that "fun" will happen and life will be grand. I am going to assume however, that my parents were talking about what happens after all the kids move out and retirement sets in, not what they were experiencing while us kids were growing up.
In some ways I feel caught between two different worlds...the young side that wants to party all night and make friends with guys named Captain and Jose...but the more responsible side is kicking into high gear and I am not sure how to have 'fun' with this side yet. Cookie cutter houses all in a row, with white picket fences, 2.5 kids, a mini van with store and go seating and a dvd system, deck building, garage tool borrowing and kids themed birthday parties really scare the bejesus out of me.
I guess that the only thing I can do at this point is to give this responsible side a slight twist and see where it takes me. Just keeping the fingers and toes crossed that it will still be fun.
This is called the 'pre planned bar drive by'. Its a way for your friends to check out the other person in a totally judgmental way and get away with it. Just to fuel the fire, more than one person at this juncture of the evening will be three sheets to the wind. Which will quickly be followed up with the sentence "so and so really isn't like this for reals. honest" Insert inappropriate words, phrases, looks, grabbing and emotional outbursts, and the next morning is usually very awkward.
I spoke with one of my colleagues today at work about this situation...at which point I received a blank stare followed quickly by the words "I don't like this and in my opinion his stock is decreasing. At 30, do you really want to be stressed out all night about potentially seeing this guy all drunk and then getting super bummed if for whatever reason you guys do not run into each other by accident on purpose? No. Make him take you to dinner. Coffee. Drinks. Something other than this."
And she is absolutely right. I have grown past that bar scene drama. I was raised with the sound logic that if you work hard and manage your responsibilities well, that "fun" will happen and life will be grand. I am going to assume however, that my parents were talking about what happens after all the kids move out and retirement sets in, not what they were experiencing while us kids were growing up.
In some ways I feel caught between two different worlds...the young side that wants to party all night and make friends with guys named Captain and Jose...but the more responsible side is kicking into high gear and I am not sure how to have 'fun' with this side yet. Cookie cutter houses all in a row, with white picket fences, 2.5 kids, a mini van with store and go seating and a dvd system, deck building, garage tool borrowing and kids themed birthday parties really scare the bejesus out of me.
I guess that the only thing I can do at this point is to give this responsible side a slight twist and see where it takes me. Just keeping the fingers and toes crossed that it will still be fun.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
What Happened to Good Old Fashion Talking?
This last weekend I attended my very first country music concert in a very, very small town in south eastern Alberta. The Rowdy Boys tour featuring Gord Bamford and Aaron Pritchett was a lot more fun than I was expecting...and this little "city" girl wound up wearing a tank top that read "Drinking Buddy" along with a borrowed plaid shirt (thanks Dayna lol).
One thing that I really took notice of, is that the majority of the young people in the crowd, and especially with myself as well - everyone was on their phones, and yet no one was actually talking with the person they were communicating with. WTF?
When did texting replace real communication? What happened to listening to how another person enunciates words? What happened to taking small joy in physically hearing that someone is excited, by how the voice inflects?
I fully understand that there are good reasons to text someone instead of talking to them. Loud environments (like the concert last night), if your in a meeting, in a movie, in church.
One of the girls explained to me that sometimes it is more easy, or comfortable to text someone, rather than talk to them. The person on the receiving end can take their time to respond, or not respond if they feel like it. Less chance of saying something that you might regret later on. This is one way you could look at it, and honestly it has become socially acceptable to abide by.
Another way to look at it, is that we have become a society of namby-pamby's. Fearful of actual human contact which could lead to rejection, dependent on the situation. I am totally guilty of being fearful myself...I have no idea how to tell someone that I have been "talking" with for a short while, that I would like to bring our chats into the real world and have coffee...you have to remember, I have been out of the game for a while. lol.
One thing I know for certain, is that only 7% of the intended message is received via the written word these days. We NEED that voice inflection, eye contact and body language to fully communicate with one and other.
So if I call, will you answer or text me back later?
One thing that I really took notice of, is that the majority of the young people in the crowd, and especially with myself as well - everyone was on their phones, and yet no one was actually talking with the person they were communicating with. WTF?
When did texting replace real communication? What happened to listening to how another person enunciates words? What happened to taking small joy in physically hearing that someone is excited, by how the voice inflects?
I fully understand that there are good reasons to text someone instead of talking to them. Loud environments (like the concert last night), if your in a meeting, in a movie, in church.
One of the girls explained to me that sometimes it is more easy, or comfortable to text someone, rather than talk to them. The person on the receiving end can take their time to respond, or not respond if they feel like it. Less chance of saying something that you might regret later on. This is one way you could look at it, and honestly it has become socially acceptable to abide by.
Another way to look at it, is that we have become a society of namby-pamby's. Fearful of actual human contact which could lead to rejection, dependent on the situation. I am totally guilty of being fearful myself...I have no idea how to tell someone that I have been "talking" with for a short while, that I would like to bring our chats into the real world and have coffee...you have to remember, I have been out of the game for a while. lol.
One thing I know for certain, is that only 7% of the intended message is received via the written word these days. We NEED that voice inflection, eye contact and body language to fully communicate with one and other.
So if I call, will you answer or text me back later?
Friday, April 15, 2011
Getting the "Lingo" Down
Now that I am ready to jump back into the dating pool with both feet, I find myself at a complete loss as to what the heck the difference is between:
1. Talking
2. Seeing
3. Dating
4. Relationship
Being completely honest, the last time I was in the dating scene I epically failed more times than I care to admit, so this time I am determined to get this right. But trying to nail a definitive answer down as to what all four of those words mean, is proving difficult.
Is "talking" just talking to someone, or could that be "seeing" too? Can you be "seeing" someone and not be sleeping with them? Once you pick someone that meets your standards and move things onto the physical level, does that mean your "dating" them or are you still just "seeing" them? And then when does it all fall into the "relationship" category?
I've asked a few friends of mine, both guys and girls, what it all means and not one single person could give either the same answer as the last or a firm one. It all seems to be based in opinion and that it is dependent on each couple.
So here's the question, if you master the lingo, does that mean you have mastered dating?
1. Talking
2. Seeing
3. Dating
4. Relationship
Being completely honest, the last time I was in the dating scene I epically failed more times than I care to admit, so this time I am determined to get this right. But trying to nail a definitive answer down as to what all four of those words mean, is proving difficult.
Is "talking" just talking to someone, or could that be "seeing" too? Can you be "seeing" someone and not be sleeping with them? Once you pick someone that meets your standards and move things onto the physical level, does that mean your "dating" them or are you still just "seeing" them? And then when does it all fall into the "relationship" category?
I've asked a few friends of mine, both guys and girls, what it all means and not one single person could give either the same answer as the last or a firm one. It all seems to be based in opinion and that it is dependent on each couple.
So here's the question, if you master the lingo, does that mean you have mastered dating?
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