The last time I wrote about 'getting the lingo down', I was newly back on the single and mingling circuit, and I seriously had no idea what the heck people were talking about. Well, I still don't, but I talked with just about everyone I know and this is what I have figured out so far:
1. Talking. It means just that. Apparently one can talk via a variety of mediums. In person, on the phone, text messages, skype, iChat, MSN (if people still use it!), Facebook, Twitter and MySpace. I have come to gather that the majority of these options available to us, to make conversation and 'connecting' that much easier, seriously impair our ability to meet face to face and have a REAL conversation. This gets back to my earlier theory about how we are a society of namby-pamby's. Sex can fit anywhere into the talking phase.
2. Seeing. According to my "highly successful in a relationship that he hates" younger brother (no JS, this is NOT that brother), the words 'I'm seeing someone' is one of the nicest let downs that one sex can give to another that you are not interested in. It is usually followed up with the phrase 'well, if it doesn't work out, let me know or give me a call'. Sex can fit into the seeing phase, regardless if you are really seeing someone or not.
3. Dating Part 1. In talking with both male and female friends, dating is a universal word tossed about like salad dressing. You can go on a date with just about anyone and not have it mean anything. Dating used to have a very serious connotation to it, something along the lines of 'going steady' or wearing his football jacket or something white picket fence like that. Unfortunately due to women's lib, we screwed this up and created "seeing". Fml. I still don't get it.
4. Dating Part 2. You have it on your Facebook that you are now a couple and everyone comments on how you are so perfect for each other, that they are so fake happy for you and congratulations. This is usually when I remove people from my news feed. This totally reminds me of those silly silly people that have that white stick figure family and pets on their vehicles. At this point, I usually have to wonder, what the heck happens if one of them dies? Who in their right mind would seriously sit there and scrape that crap off? I could go off all night on this topic alone. But at any rate, if your not getting some at this point, take a hard look around.
5. Relationship. Usually a committed agreement between you and the other party. No one is sleeping around (or shouldnt be!), Facebook relationship status is still intact, you have met the parents, friends, weird fringe family members, have seen the other super drunk and haven't laughed at them too much when they spoon the comfort station all night long and you have outlasted the random late night text messages from people the other party was previously 'seeing'. At this point, due to comfort, sex is around, but usually 2-3 times per week instead of the vigorous multiple times before leaving the house for work in the morning.
6. Sex between friends. This is a new concept to me. I talked with a few people about it. In theory, its two fairly decent friends that can muster up some attraction for one and other (sometimes, this is not all that hard to do), and help each other out in times of need. In practice this usually results in one side becoming attached and the other side freaking out. End of friendship. This is also referred to as 'f&ck buddies'.
I am hoping that my new arsenal of lingo can give me a boost up on the dating scene this time around, but in my research I came across more idiom's than I care to admit. So, I am going to smile and nod and fake it till I make it...and pretend like hell that I KNOW what I am talking about!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Perceptions
Part of my job is to constantly meet new people. I have a new class at least 3 times per week, with anywhere from 10-18 students each time. Thats approximately 54 new faces per week, and 216 per month. More if I teach on weekends. Within half a day I have already formed a perception about each of my students based on their behavior and what they present to me in class. For some students, its not the best perception.
I wonder if this would change if I met them somewhere else? Under different circumstances?
Then I wonder about some of the people I know. There are a few people that I have known of for years, chat with time to time, but never really crossed the hurdle into "real friend zone".
Lets take for example, 2 guys. One I have been on chatting terms with for just a little over 5 years now. The other, I am also on chatting terms with, but only recently.
The one that I have known for a while always has something raunchy to say..."oh you live alone, so I guess that means you can be as dirty as you want" ...I know he is not talking about me hiding dirty dishes in the dishwasher. When he said this to me, I commented on how hitting on me for the last number of years was going for him, and that I would ask if he was feeling okay if he stopped. My perception is that his comments are apart of his routine. Let's just say that he fired back pretty quickly that "I don't know him"...very true. I don't know him all that well, but I know what I see. And for the last 5 years, I see a player.
Is this true? No idea. But it is what is presented to me. And it is what my perception is formed around.
Now lets take guy number 2, the one that I have only known recently. This is the guy that I have been talking with via txt, and only txt. No calls. No emails. Very little FB interaction. Just txt. We're "friends" that never really talk, nor see each other. This is something that frustrates the hell out of me. I have a tendency to want to see my friends in the flesh. Talk to them from time to time on the phone. Do activities with. In a small way, I feel like this guy is like the imaginary friend I had when I was 4. There but not there. My perception of this guy is that he could care less or that he is playing some sort of an angel. Again, I do not know him all that well, but I base my perceptions on what I see.
I am pretty aware of how people can perceive me from time to time. Cold, unfeeling, stuck up, bitchy, to ridged, demanding, easily frustrated, strict, challenging and the list goes on from there.
I am on a constant pursuit of changing the perceptions I have of people, places and things. I want to think the best of each and every person I come across. But I am also realistic, in that sometimes no matter how hard you look, your perceptions may not change.
My sincere desire is that I be given the same chance to change the perception that sometimes people have of me. Cause when it comes down to it, perception is easily changed.
I wonder if this would change if I met them somewhere else? Under different circumstances?
Then I wonder about some of the people I know. There are a few people that I have known of for years, chat with time to time, but never really crossed the hurdle into "real friend zone".
Lets take for example, 2 guys. One I have been on chatting terms with for just a little over 5 years now. The other, I am also on chatting terms with, but only recently.
The one that I have known for a while always has something raunchy to say..."oh you live alone, so I guess that means you can be as dirty as you want" ...I know he is not talking about me hiding dirty dishes in the dishwasher. When he said this to me, I commented on how hitting on me for the last number of years was going for him, and that I would ask if he was feeling okay if he stopped. My perception is that his comments are apart of his routine. Let's just say that he fired back pretty quickly that "I don't know him"...very true. I don't know him all that well, but I know what I see. And for the last 5 years, I see a player.
Is this true? No idea. But it is what is presented to me. And it is what my perception is formed around.
Now lets take guy number 2, the one that I have only known recently. This is the guy that I have been talking with via txt, and only txt. No calls. No emails. Very little FB interaction. Just txt. We're "friends" that never really talk, nor see each other. This is something that frustrates the hell out of me. I have a tendency to want to see my friends in the flesh. Talk to them from time to time on the phone. Do activities with. In a small way, I feel like this guy is like the imaginary friend I had when I was 4. There but not there. My perception of this guy is that he could care less or that he is playing some sort of an angel. Again, I do not know him all that well, but I base my perceptions on what I see.
I am pretty aware of how people can perceive me from time to time. Cold, unfeeling, stuck up, bitchy, to ridged, demanding, easily frustrated, strict, challenging and the list goes on from there.
I am on a constant pursuit of changing the perceptions I have of people, places and things. I want to think the best of each and every person I come across. But I am also realistic, in that sometimes no matter how hard you look, your perceptions may not change.
My sincere desire is that I be given the same chance to change the perception that sometimes people have of me. Cause when it comes down to it, perception is easily changed.
Monday, May 23, 2011
The Importance of Girls Night
It has been a fantastic May Long Weekend...jammed packed, but fantastic just the same.
After work on Friday I made the trek to Red Deer to see the family...my sudo little brother is deploying again to Afghanistan in t minus 2 weeks, and I have been wanting to spend as much time with him and the family as possible. I couldn't believe how many campers were on the road! I am sure that the economy is for sure picking up the slack based on the amount of money each one of those beasts cost.
Everyone had finished up eating dinner by the time Mr Ari and I arrived...so I grabbed a plate, sat down at the table, poured a glass of wine and didn't leave the table until 7 hours and 9 bottles of wine later. I remember waking up the next morning and wondering why my face hurt so badly. The amount of laughing, joking and smiling the family and I did was unreal. It is like this the first night I stay, each and every time. And I love it!
Saturday afternoon, my sister, momma and I all went to Cross Iron Mills...this most fabulous outlet shopping center next to the ones in Vegas. Lets just say that we did a massive amount of damage on that place. Thank goodness we brought the mini van, I had serious doubts that we were going to get everything back to the house! One thing that I did notice while walking around, was that I was one of the few that were a) not partnered up and b) toting around a new born. I focused on the shopping and did my best to not let silly little things like this get to me.
Sunday morning, I started and finished the Red Deer Half Marathon. It was not my best race time by any means for this distance...I felt unfocused, scattered and sluggish. I honestly didn't really start racing until I hit the 17km mark, and by that time I figured that I only had 5kms left, better get er done. My Red Deer family was waiting at the finish line for me when I got in. My nephew gave me a hug right away and said that I didn't smell all that bad, god love him. I went right back to the house after the race, piled all the stuff in the car and started the somewhat speedy ride back to Edmonton...I had a SHAG (shower stagette combo) party to attend.
I remember standing at a table later that night, in Hudsons on Whyte with 10 other ladies, in sparkles, beads, mini tiaras and sequins, thinking, "what the f*ck have I gotten myself into? Am I THAT crazy that I would WILLINGLY join the ranks of single and desperate again?"
Scanning the crowd there was an interesting mix of feelings and impulses that were pretty hard to disregard. Hope, disillusionment, faked happiness, genuine happiness, lust, ill intentions, malice, anger, envy, jealousy - basically the whole spectrum of feelings, but the biggest one was lonely.
One of the girls leaned over and started asking if I was alright, and if I wanted to get out there and meet Mr Right...either a forever right or a right now kinda right. I explained that I was hunky-dory, she rolled her eyes and gave me one of those looks that your mom gives you when you she knows your fibbing but won't say anything about it.
As I was one of the sober drivers for the evening, I packed as many up as I could into the car before the ugly lights came on...cause lets face it, nothing good happens after 2 am. But on the drive home, I was asked the same question again, was I alright?
My answer was this: "I need to relearn on how to be alone without being lonely. Once I get that down, then I will be in a place to move towards a relationship."
This concept of being alone and not being lonely was something that a girlfriend explained to me years ago, the last time I was single. If you can be comfortable with just being in your own head and your own entertainment, than you have crossed the largest blockage of being unattached.
My girlfriends have become so very important to me. I bounce ideas off them, take polls, go shopping with, drink and eat with, txt, but most importantly I smile and laugh like crazy with them. I am starting to see myself through their eyes, and honestly, it is fantastic! Because of them, I am well on my way to being alone, but not lonely. This is why girls night/day/afternoon is so important.
After work on Friday I made the trek to Red Deer to see the family...my sudo little brother is deploying again to Afghanistan in t minus 2 weeks, and I have been wanting to spend as much time with him and the family as possible. I couldn't believe how many campers were on the road! I am sure that the economy is for sure picking up the slack based on the amount of money each one of those beasts cost.
Everyone had finished up eating dinner by the time Mr Ari and I arrived...so I grabbed a plate, sat down at the table, poured a glass of wine and didn't leave the table until 7 hours and 9 bottles of wine later. I remember waking up the next morning and wondering why my face hurt so badly. The amount of laughing, joking and smiling the family and I did was unreal. It is like this the first night I stay, each and every time. And I love it!
Saturday afternoon, my sister, momma and I all went to Cross Iron Mills...this most fabulous outlet shopping center next to the ones in Vegas. Lets just say that we did a massive amount of damage on that place. Thank goodness we brought the mini van, I had serious doubts that we were going to get everything back to the house! One thing that I did notice while walking around, was that I was one of the few that were a) not partnered up and b) toting around a new born. I focused on the shopping and did my best to not let silly little things like this get to me.
Sunday morning, I started and finished the Red Deer Half Marathon. It was not my best race time by any means for this distance...I felt unfocused, scattered and sluggish. I honestly didn't really start racing until I hit the 17km mark, and by that time I figured that I only had 5kms left, better get er done. My Red Deer family was waiting at the finish line for me when I got in. My nephew gave me a hug right away and said that I didn't smell all that bad, god love him. I went right back to the house after the race, piled all the stuff in the car and started the somewhat speedy ride back to Edmonton...I had a SHAG (shower stagette combo) party to attend.
I remember standing at a table later that night, in Hudsons on Whyte with 10 other ladies, in sparkles, beads, mini tiaras and sequins, thinking, "what the f*ck have I gotten myself into? Am I THAT crazy that I would WILLINGLY join the ranks of single and desperate again?"
Scanning the crowd there was an interesting mix of feelings and impulses that were pretty hard to disregard. Hope, disillusionment, faked happiness, genuine happiness, lust, ill intentions, malice, anger, envy, jealousy - basically the whole spectrum of feelings, but the biggest one was lonely.
One of the girls leaned over and started asking if I was alright, and if I wanted to get out there and meet Mr Right...either a forever right or a right now kinda right. I explained that I was hunky-dory, she rolled her eyes and gave me one of those looks that your mom gives you when you she knows your fibbing but won't say anything about it.
As I was one of the sober drivers for the evening, I packed as many up as I could into the car before the ugly lights came on...cause lets face it, nothing good happens after 2 am. But on the drive home, I was asked the same question again, was I alright?
My answer was this: "I need to relearn on how to be alone without being lonely. Once I get that down, then I will be in a place to move towards a relationship."
This concept of being alone and not being lonely was something that a girlfriend explained to me years ago, the last time I was single. If you can be comfortable with just being in your own head and your own entertainment, than you have crossed the largest blockage of being unattached.
My girlfriends have become so very important to me. I bounce ideas off them, take polls, go shopping with, drink and eat with, txt, but most importantly I smile and laugh like crazy with them. I am starting to see myself through their eyes, and honestly, it is fantastic! Because of them, I am well on my way to being alone, but not lonely. This is why girls night/day/afternoon is so important.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Hill to Die Upon
I have always been a passionate person, and I take social issues from around the world and right here at home, fairly seriously.
The last 4 or so years, my project was in helping military families, specifically those that do not have children. I sat on the Board of Directors for the Edmonton Garrison Military Family Resource Centre for 3 years, and I stuck my noise in the Unit Family Cell business for about a year too. I wanted desperately to change things to make it easier for the families without kids...to empower them, so they wouldn't have to rely on the big machine of the military. At the end of my last relationship, I had to step down and completely away from all of that. The Board has a by-law that states you have to be a military spouse of some sort in order to serve them. Rightfully so, I mean I wouldn't want someone from the general public trying to tell a deployed spouse that there isn't a need to worry. Crazy talk!
This week I received an email from a close friend, letting me know that I am not really welcome to stay at the his house for a race that I have coming up in about a week and a half or so. The email was sent to me on facebook of all things. The rational was half in the right, half in the wrong. My friend is moving to a different city, and is worried that he wouldn't be able to be a good host. Fair enough. The second reason I was seriously like "are you expletive delete kidding me?" ...my friend is in a very new relationship, and does not think it would be fair to the lady he is seeing if he has a friend stay over that he is attracted to. After I stopped laughing I replied back saying, yeah a phone call would have been a better way to tell me lol. But good luck with your move and congrats on the new relationship.
The friend wound up calling me fairly quickly after getting my reply. He wanted to make sure that I am doing okay and that I really understood. I smiled and ate my words.
How can you tell someone or something that this is not the hill your going to die on? That it is not worth your time saying, your being foolish? I am of the firm mind that when people make a decision, they need to fully deal with it.
I have no idea what my next big thing or hill to climb will be...so...anyone up for a unicorn hunt?
The last 4 or so years, my project was in helping military families, specifically those that do not have children. I sat on the Board of Directors for the Edmonton Garrison Military Family Resource Centre for 3 years, and I stuck my noise in the Unit Family Cell business for about a year too. I wanted desperately to change things to make it easier for the families without kids...to empower them, so they wouldn't have to rely on the big machine of the military. At the end of my last relationship, I had to step down and completely away from all of that. The Board has a by-law that states you have to be a military spouse of some sort in order to serve them. Rightfully so, I mean I wouldn't want someone from the general public trying to tell a deployed spouse that there isn't a need to worry. Crazy talk!
This week I received an email from a close friend, letting me know that I am not really welcome to stay at the his house for a race that I have coming up in about a week and a half or so. The email was sent to me on facebook of all things. The rational was half in the right, half in the wrong. My friend is moving to a different city, and is worried that he wouldn't be able to be a good host. Fair enough. The second reason I was seriously like "are you expletive delete kidding me?" ...my friend is in a very new relationship, and does not think it would be fair to the lady he is seeing if he has a friend stay over that he is attracted to. After I stopped laughing I replied back saying, yeah a phone call would have been a better way to tell me lol. But good luck with your move and congrats on the new relationship.
The friend wound up calling me fairly quickly after getting my reply. He wanted to make sure that I am doing okay and that I really understood. I smiled and ate my words.
How can you tell someone or something that this is not the hill your going to die on? That it is not worth your time saying, your being foolish? I am of the firm mind that when people make a decision, they need to fully deal with it.
I have no idea what my next big thing or hill to climb will be...so...anyone up for a unicorn hunt?
Monday, May 16, 2011
Accessories of All Kinds
As my last two posts have been fairly emotional, I decided to lighten the mood somewhat in my musings over the day.
When attending the Instructor Conference Banquet Saturday night, it had a Mardi Gras theme to it. Which meant not only finding the perfect outfit, but MAKING the outfit perfect with well placed accessories. I managed to pull off a very simple black shruggish no sleeve shirt, with dark grey short shorts and heels...but what made the outfit was this amazing bird like bracelet that looked like a little colorful tiara sitting on my arm and matching earrings.
Usually I tend to keep my accessories at a minimum...not plane jane, but classic looking items that I can wear with just about anything.
As women, we have more clothing options than men do...some of our accessories can include but are not limited to: shoes, belts, bags, hats, earrings, necklaces, anklets, rings, bracelets, cuffs, scarves, clutches, oh did I mention shoes?
But one thing is missing from a woman's "approved" list of accessories - arm candy.
Would it be wrong to think of a man like an accessory? Or to pick them out like one too?
Oooh! This one is into medical stuff and knows which fork to use, so he comes to all my work functions and can take care of me when I am sick. This one is a Type A Personality and is able to take bawdy language and can drink like the best of them, so he goes to military events. This one is somewhat sensitive, so I can totally take him to girly movies, bawl my eyes out and he will know how to comfort me. This one is into sporting events, so he comes to races and pro games. This one is amazing with animals, so he can tag along with Mr Ari and I to the dog park.
If you could package all that up into one man, he would be as mythical as a unicorn.
I am determined to find my own personal unicorn, but until that happens, I may need a few accessories. *le sigh*
When attending the Instructor Conference Banquet Saturday night, it had a Mardi Gras theme to it. Which meant not only finding the perfect outfit, but MAKING the outfit perfect with well placed accessories. I managed to pull off a very simple black shruggish no sleeve shirt, with dark grey short shorts and heels...but what made the outfit was this amazing bird like bracelet that looked like a little colorful tiara sitting on my arm and matching earrings.
Usually I tend to keep my accessories at a minimum...not plane jane, but classic looking items that I can wear with just about anything.
As women, we have more clothing options than men do...some of our accessories can include but are not limited to: shoes, belts, bags, hats, earrings, necklaces, anklets, rings, bracelets, cuffs, scarves, clutches, oh did I mention shoes?
But one thing is missing from a woman's "approved" list of accessories - arm candy.
Would it be wrong to think of a man like an accessory? Or to pick them out like one too?
Oooh! This one is into medical stuff and knows which fork to use, so he comes to all my work functions and can take care of me when I am sick. This one is a Type A Personality and is able to take bawdy language and can drink like the best of them, so he goes to military events. This one is somewhat sensitive, so I can totally take him to girly movies, bawl my eyes out and he will know how to comfort me. This one is into sporting events, so he comes to races and pro games. This one is amazing with animals, so he can tag along with Mr Ari and I to the dog park.
If you could package all that up into one man, he would be as mythical as a unicorn.
I am determined to find my own personal unicorn, but until that happens, I may need a few accessories. *le sigh*
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Promises Made and Promises Kept
Phew! Today has been a day, and it is barely half over. I ran as the Pace Zebra for the RunWild Half Marathon this morning, and not only did I keep the 2 hour and 15 minute completion time, I set myself a new PB (personal best)!
I started running just over 2 years ago...The sad part about me starting to run was that I wasn't doing it for myself, I started because my former bf's sister called me a fat cow the first time I met her. Real positive I know.
In under 2 years I have raced 9 5km, 5 10km, 3 Half Marathons and 1 Full Marathon...ever kilometer earned, never given...it is something that I am immensely proud of.
During the race this morning, I started thinking fairly clearly about the promises that I have made, both kept and broken. It started with keeping myself motivated in saying, 'I promised MT, that I would pace this race out at 2 hours and 15 minutes'. About 10 people picked me out of the crowd (really wasnt all that hard, I was dressed in black and white, had Zebra ears and a tail, plus a sign) and decided that they wanted to finish with me. I did my best to not allow the pressure of the promise I made to MT weigh me down mentally.
I have made other promises in the past that haven't been as successful as this mornings one. Things like I promise not to tell anyone when I was 6, I promise we will get together soon and have coffee/drinks to catch up, I promise not to eat the left overs in the fridge, I promise that I will clean the house, I promise that I will attend your candle party, I promise to not date the douche bag with neck tattoos and a soul patch, I promise to marry you...I promise, I promise, I promise.
It is no wonder that people have trust issues with others...all these broken promises along the way, how can one cope with out the aid of medication and a pricey therapist?
For the rest of this year I am not making anymore promises to anyone, aside from this one. And its to myself.
I promise to be myself at all times, to laugh, love, to seek out adventure EVERY DAY, to be honest with everyone including myself and to have fun with even the small stuff.
What are you going to promise yourself?
I started running just over 2 years ago...The sad part about me starting to run was that I wasn't doing it for myself, I started because my former bf's sister called me a fat cow the first time I met her. Real positive I know.
In under 2 years I have raced 9 5km, 5 10km, 3 Half Marathons and 1 Full Marathon...ever kilometer earned, never given...it is something that I am immensely proud of.
During the race this morning, I started thinking fairly clearly about the promises that I have made, both kept and broken. It started with keeping myself motivated in saying, 'I promised MT, that I would pace this race out at 2 hours and 15 minutes'. About 10 people picked me out of the crowd (really wasnt all that hard, I was dressed in black and white, had Zebra ears and a tail, plus a sign) and decided that they wanted to finish with me. I did my best to not allow the pressure of the promise I made to MT weigh me down mentally.
I have made other promises in the past that haven't been as successful as this mornings one. Things like I promise not to tell anyone when I was 6, I promise we will get together soon and have coffee/drinks to catch up, I promise not to eat the left overs in the fridge, I promise that I will clean the house, I promise that I will attend your candle party, I promise to not date the douche bag with neck tattoos and a soul patch, I promise to marry you...I promise, I promise, I promise.
It is no wonder that people have trust issues with others...all these broken promises along the way, how can one cope with out the aid of medication and a pricey therapist?
For the rest of this year I am not making anymore promises to anyone, aside from this one. And its to myself.
I promise to be myself at all times, to laugh, love, to seek out adventure EVERY DAY, to be honest with everyone including myself and to have fun with even the small stuff.
What are you going to promise yourself?
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Human Since 1981, Promise.
I sit here in my living room all dolled up for the conference banquet that I am supposed to attend in about 20 minutes...it has a Mardi Gras theme, which is awesome because I am hoping it will be colorful.
Our keynote speaker this morning talked about "Who are YOU, and What do YOU want?"...we were supposed to ask this question to the person beside us three times. Each time it was asked, every single person answered differently. But I have been thinking about it all day.
Who am I and What do I want?
This simple question got me thinking about wants vs needs, and how everyone and their dog provides input from time to time in a persons life. After a breakup is usually easiest for another to weigh in or what I like to call, rubberneck.
I think that I have heard everything under the sun over the last few months about what I need. Its too the point that I cut people short, so I don't have to listen, and I change the subject. Or if I can't cut them off at the pass, I stand there and smiling vapidly, and nod, appearing totally engrossed in their profound advice.
This is a selection of what people think I need:
- to be by myself and figure things out...meaning no dates for at least half the time I was in the relationship for. Which is a stupid long time to not have contact with the opposite sex thank you very much.
- to be surrounded by friends
- to talk with a priest and turn to god
- to run more, 'never a better time to start looking to qualifying for Boston'
- to do crazy things, like skydiving (which actually sounds like fun!)
- to drink
- to go out and find a one night stand, just to get back on the horse
- to find a 'nice' boyfriend
- to start batting for the other team
I'll give you some hints as to what I NEED:
- a couch to sit on
- a steam cleaner, cause I now have white carpets
- a microwave
- more booze in the wine rack
- time with friends old and new
- and a break
But more importantly, for people to remember that I have been human since 1981, and that they need not tip toe around me. I have mild OCD, that I am sure of. One of the things I fixate on is decisions. Trust me when I say that I weighed all the options, that I really did. I very rarely make snap decisions, even in my recent 'wing it' mood. So,
Who am I?
Human Since 1981, Promise
What Do I Want?
Love, connection, friends, passion and adventure.
Our keynote speaker this morning talked about "Who are YOU, and What do YOU want?"...we were supposed to ask this question to the person beside us three times. Each time it was asked, every single person answered differently. But I have been thinking about it all day.
Who am I and What do I want?
This simple question got me thinking about wants vs needs, and how everyone and their dog provides input from time to time in a persons life. After a breakup is usually easiest for another to weigh in or what I like to call, rubberneck.
I think that I have heard everything under the sun over the last few months about what I need. Its too the point that I cut people short, so I don't have to listen, and I change the subject. Or if I can't cut them off at the pass, I stand there and smiling vapidly, and nod, appearing totally engrossed in their profound advice.
This is a selection of what people think I need:
- to be by myself and figure things out...meaning no dates for at least half the time I was in the relationship for. Which is a stupid long time to not have contact with the opposite sex thank you very much.
- to be surrounded by friends
- to talk with a priest and turn to god
- to run more, 'never a better time to start looking to qualifying for Boston'
- to do crazy things, like skydiving (which actually sounds like fun!)
- to drink
- to go out and find a one night stand, just to get back on the horse
- to find a 'nice' boyfriend
- to start batting for the other team
I'll give you some hints as to what I NEED:
- a couch to sit on
- a steam cleaner, cause I now have white carpets
- a microwave
- more booze in the wine rack
- time with friends old and new
- and a break
But more importantly, for people to remember that I have been human since 1981, and that they need not tip toe around me. I have mild OCD, that I am sure of. One of the things I fixate on is decisions. Trust me when I say that I weighed all the options, that I really did. I very rarely make snap decisions, even in my recent 'wing it' mood. So,
Who am I?
Human Since 1981, Promise
What Do I Want?
Love, connection, friends, passion and adventure.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The 'Week Day' Girl - Are You Kidding Me?
A number of weeks ago I was asked to dinner by a gentleman that I met at a local sporting event. In my usual 'winging it' style, I was totally game. The worst that could happen is that I would wind up paying for my own dinner...something that I always plan on just in case everything heads south.
The dinner was nice, but nothing fancy. A home cooked BBQ chicken and shrimp, salad and my fav dessert, cheesecake from Vi's for Pies. A good start.
Being a first date of sorts, we went through the various 20 questions or so that people ask in order to assess if this person on the other side of the table is worth a second date. I even went so far as to ask him about what his take on the "Lingo" was, which prompted an entertaining response.
Turns out that he has been seeing a lovely lady (his words) for the last 6 or so months. He is not entirely sure if she is the one, based on the sheer fact that she has 2 young kids. Because of the schedule that she has with the kids, he can only see her on weekends, which from what he told me, makes him kinda lonely on the week days. I nearly choking on my too sweet white wine laughing.
I've heard of a guy having an 'amante' (mistress)...but during the week days?
As I was sitting there finishing my cheesecake, he explained that he has told this lovely lady that he is going to actively pursue other women during the week, while she is busy. He then made the biggest mistake he could have - he asked for my opinion.
I explained that I was newly back on the single and mingling circuit, and that because I wanted to get it right this time, Karma was the last person I wanted to piss off. I clarified this comment in saying that 6 months is a long time be seeing someone and I think that puts him into the relationship category...this is doubly compounded in the sheer fact she has children that he has also formed a relationship with. I calmly stated that he should face facts, stop skirt chasing and realize that there are 4 people in his relationship - not just one.
Lets just say that shortly after that I was kinda shown the door, much to my delight. On my drive home though, I couldn't help but cross my fingers that I didn't have 'sucker' tattooed across my forehead...too bad he did, cause I am much more fun on the weekends.
The dinner was nice, but nothing fancy. A home cooked BBQ chicken and shrimp, salad and my fav dessert, cheesecake from Vi's for Pies. A good start.
Being a first date of sorts, we went through the various 20 questions or so that people ask in order to assess if this person on the other side of the table is worth a second date. I even went so far as to ask him about what his take on the "Lingo" was, which prompted an entertaining response.
Turns out that he has been seeing a lovely lady (his words) for the last 6 or so months. He is not entirely sure if she is the one, based on the sheer fact that she has 2 young kids. Because of the schedule that she has with the kids, he can only see her on weekends, which from what he told me, makes him kinda lonely on the week days. I nearly choking on my too sweet white wine laughing.
I've heard of a guy having an 'amante' (mistress)...but during the week days?
As I was sitting there finishing my cheesecake, he explained that he has told this lovely lady that he is going to actively pursue other women during the week, while she is busy. He then made the biggest mistake he could have - he asked for my opinion.
I explained that I was newly back on the single and mingling circuit, and that because I wanted to get it right this time, Karma was the last person I wanted to piss off. I clarified this comment in saying that 6 months is a long time be seeing someone and I think that puts him into the relationship category...this is doubly compounded in the sheer fact she has children that he has also formed a relationship with. I calmly stated that he should face facts, stop skirt chasing and realize that there are 4 people in his relationship - not just one.
Lets just say that shortly after that I was kinda shown the door, much to my delight. On my drive home though, I couldn't help but cross my fingers that I didn't have 'sucker' tattooed across my forehead...too bad he did, cause I am much more fun on the weekends.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Routine...Do We Really Need One?
The weekend I moved into my new place, I had the opportunity to judge the First Aid competitions with the company that I work for...have to say that I was really pumped, as I heard that it was going to be fairly competitive.
I was assigned a casualty that had Asthma....not that bad of a thing, but in the situation presented to the teams, she had been a witness to the car accident with the bulk of the casualties and had been nearly missed being smoked by one of the cars. She had her ventolin with her, and if the first aiders read the medication label like they were supposed to, they would have seen that it was expired...Cause NO ONE EVER carries around expired inhalers.
At any rate, every single team nearly killed the casualty that I was assigned. I had to judge on how well the team handled my particular casualty and then meet with other judges to figure out a team score.
There was a team from Ft Mac...Syncrude. There was a cute guy. After the competition he asked me out for a drink. Being the logical minded gal that I am, I accepted. Whats a free drink anyway?
It was an interesting drink. Turns out that this guy has been working for Syncrude for the last 4-5 years and was really liking the 'routine' that he feels he is finally settling into. After about an hour of talking to him I quickly determined that I was not as interested as I thought at first, nice guy, but really not the one for me.
As I was saying my goodbyes, nice to meet cha's and thanks for the drink, he asked quickly if he would see me next year. My reply was 'not sure'. 'You don't have a routine?' he asks...My answer shocked even me 'No, I don't know where I will be in a year from now let alone next week, so if I am around, I will see you next year'. I was promptly told that I was a sad individual for not having routine in my life.
The way that I have been looking at things lately is that routine equals safety, regulated, predictable and boring. Not having a routine does most certainly come with it's own set of worries and stresses, but also so much adventure. Every day is a new and exciting.
So I ask, do we really need a routine? Or is winging it equal to being a routine?
I was assigned a casualty that had Asthma....not that bad of a thing, but in the situation presented to the teams, she had been a witness to the car accident with the bulk of the casualties and had been nearly missed being smoked by one of the cars. She had her ventolin with her, and if the first aiders read the medication label like they were supposed to, they would have seen that it was expired...Cause NO ONE EVER carries around expired inhalers.
At any rate, every single team nearly killed the casualty that I was assigned. I had to judge on how well the team handled my particular casualty and then meet with other judges to figure out a team score.
There was a team from Ft Mac...Syncrude. There was a cute guy. After the competition he asked me out for a drink. Being the logical minded gal that I am, I accepted. Whats a free drink anyway?
It was an interesting drink. Turns out that this guy has been working for Syncrude for the last 4-5 years and was really liking the 'routine' that he feels he is finally settling into. After about an hour of talking to him I quickly determined that I was not as interested as I thought at first, nice guy, but really not the one for me.
As I was saying my goodbyes, nice to meet cha's and thanks for the drink, he asked quickly if he would see me next year. My reply was 'not sure'. 'You don't have a routine?' he asks...My answer shocked even me 'No, I don't know where I will be in a year from now let alone next week, so if I am around, I will see you next year'. I was promptly told that I was a sad individual for not having routine in my life.
The way that I have been looking at things lately is that routine equals safety, regulated, predictable and boring. Not having a routine does most certainly come with it's own set of worries and stresses, but also so much adventure. Every day is a new and exciting.
So I ask, do we really need a routine? Or is winging it equal to being a routine?
Monday, May 9, 2011
The Lack of Internet is Really Cramping My Style....Ugh.
I moved. Internet was supposed to move with me. Good grief, this has turned into a complete nightmare...Customer Service Reps saying on record that they do not have to do a follow up call to let you know whats going on...no compensation being offered either...ugh. One giant HOT MESS.
Once the new internet has been hooked up, I will post all the blogs that I have been keeping in a word document - not something that I enjoy.
I am keeping my fingers crossed that this all gets sorted out before the weekend...the lack of internet is really really cramping my style.
Once the new internet has been hooked up, I will post all the blogs that I have been keeping in a word document - not something that I enjoy.
I am keeping my fingers crossed that this all gets sorted out before the weekend...the lack of internet is really really cramping my style.
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