*please keep in mind that research for this particular blog happened back in early May*
Since becoming single again, I have contemplated what kind of new guy that I wanted to date...most definitely had to be taller than me in heels, even if its just by a little bit, hair and eye color really do not matter that much, had to have the general personality traits that all ladies love (basically, don't be a a-hole and your golden), employed and so on and so on...but then age came into play.
When describing what I was kinda hoping to find in a new guy to one of my besties JA before yoga one night, she was totally like "I have the perfect guy for you - but he's younger" my response was "By how much" "3-7 years younger" ...I dang near choked on my water. But it really got me thinking, guys date women (if you can call them that sometimes) that are light years younger than them all the time, would it be so wrong if a woman dated a younger guy?
Opinions were completely split down the middle. I was altogether shocked when I found out that one of my very successful couple friends were in that exact situation...she is more than 4 years older than her husband. Another successful couple I know are getting married in February next year...shes older and he is younger.
Some of the ladies I talked to equated dating a younger guy to training a puppy...its all fun and games, till it chews on you new shoes or pees on the floor...but the theme with that was that they were "trainable"...I have a dog thanks, I do not need nor want to train a man, they should already come out of the box with all the training required. Any maintenance or troubleshooting tips should be included in the manual. nuff said.
When talking with two other friends, one commented on how younger guys can be incredibly mature for their age and how they are "always ready to go" (hint hint, wink wink)...to which the other one responded in saying "Everyone's mature till you see them first thing on a Saturday morning"...lets just say that peels of laughter ensued. And the topic was kind of lost on me after that, until recently.
I went out with the girls on Friday night, and then linked up half way through the night with one of my really close guy friends CZ...he was out with all of his friends, and being able to "be one of the boys" is something I know best, so I fit right in. In talking with all of the guys during the course of the rest of the night, the oldest one there was 24. Twenty effing four. Thats the age of my youngest brother. FML.
In talking with CZ the next afternoon, he commented on how the "guys took a shine to me" ... "great, I love how they can take a shine to a 30 year old" and after I said it, he got kinda mad at me... "its not like you look your age, so effing relax, if a guy likes you it shouldn't matter their age, take it as a compliment and go about your day with a smile". Lets just say that CZ can cut through any BS I put up fairly quickly on any topic. Its his gift.
I have never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth...but should age matter? Really?
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
The Uniform *le sigh*
Yesterday I happened to have found myself outside my normal living environment (aka Downtown) and somewhere surreal (North Side Suburbia). I was checking on my brothers condo, and running a few weird errands while I was up there...at which point I discovered a car wash, outside a Canadian Tire, being run solely by firefighters. They were completely clothed...big old fire pants complete with red suspenders, boots, and what appeared to be a tight fitting blue t shirt (mind you with those pants, and t shirt would appear tight fitting regardless).
I instantly threw this up on my FB, announcing the location and that I should leave downtown more often, cause honestly, suburbia looked dang hawt yesterday because of this. A number of girl friends commented on how this deserved either a phone call or txt letting them know this information lol. Or about how sorry they were to have missed it.
Today I started to wonder: What is it about the uniform that makes women's ovaries kick into high gear? Really?
The majority of responses that I got back from ladies revolved around the uniform being a figure of authority, which I will address in a moment...but one of the best responses came from my friend LG, who said: "Visible proof of employment" lol. The guys I spoke with were just as confounded as I was for the most part.
Okay...so the authority figure...hmmm...usually implies a Type A personality, more principled, loyal, devoted, a certain work ethic, usually associated with a job of service = less selfish interests, they have their shit together and can take charge. Sounds like things that I can handle, as most women.
But in talking with a number of people, I quickly realized that there is a hierarchy to this uniform business, along with appropriate tag lines for each one:
1. Police - they carry around a gun, so they must know how to handle their weapons.
2. Firefighters - they can put out my blaze any day
3. Paramedics - I'd let him give me mouth to mouth, mmmm hmmm.
4. Doctors - there are too many tag lines with this one to count...think anatomy and go from there lol.
5. Military - heros plain and simple...plus, if your dating or married to one, you instantly become whats known as "the home front" and the "strength behind the uniform"...thank you public relations department of DND. (please understand that its not that I disagree with either of these, it just adds romance to a job that really isnt all that romantic).
There are a few other uniforms that ladies may find attractive, and they include but are not limited to: cowboys, constructions workers, delivery guys (UPS not Pizza 73), nurses, dentist and pro sports players.
I grew up around uniforms, so this really shouldn't affect me all that much, and yet I am a sucker for it just like most ladies. In fact, I find it exceedingly hard to NOT date a guy in uniform.
It boils down to this: uniforms = magic.
Ladies, we will continue to be attracted, excited, fascinated, charmed and glamored by this until we actually date one of these guys wearing a uniform...after that, we may still feel the magic, or see it for what its worth - something they wear to work!
I instantly threw this up on my FB, announcing the location and that I should leave downtown more often, cause honestly, suburbia looked dang hawt yesterday because of this. A number of girl friends commented on how this deserved either a phone call or txt letting them know this information lol. Or about how sorry they were to have missed it.
Today I started to wonder: What is it about the uniform that makes women's ovaries kick into high gear? Really?
The majority of responses that I got back from ladies revolved around the uniform being a figure of authority, which I will address in a moment...but one of the best responses came from my friend LG, who said: "Visible proof of employment" lol. The guys I spoke with were just as confounded as I was for the most part.
Okay...so the authority figure...hmmm...usually implies a Type A personality, more principled, loyal, devoted, a certain work ethic, usually associated with a job of service = less selfish interests, they have their shit together and can take charge. Sounds like things that I can handle, as most women.
But in talking with a number of people, I quickly realized that there is a hierarchy to this uniform business, along with appropriate tag lines for each one:
1. Police - they carry around a gun, so they must know how to handle their weapons.
2. Firefighters - they can put out my blaze any day
3. Paramedics - I'd let him give me mouth to mouth, mmmm hmmm.
4. Doctors - there are too many tag lines with this one to count...think anatomy and go from there lol.
5. Military - heros plain and simple...plus, if your dating or married to one, you instantly become whats known as "the home front" and the "strength behind the uniform"...thank you public relations department of DND. (please understand that its not that I disagree with either of these, it just adds romance to a job that really isnt all that romantic).
There are a few other uniforms that ladies may find attractive, and they include but are not limited to: cowboys, constructions workers, delivery guys (UPS not Pizza 73), nurses, dentist and pro sports players.
I grew up around uniforms, so this really shouldn't affect me all that much, and yet I am a sucker for it just like most ladies. In fact, I find it exceedingly hard to NOT date a guy in uniform.
It boils down to this: uniforms = magic.
Ladies, we will continue to be attracted, excited, fascinated, charmed and glamored by this until we actually date one of these guys wearing a uniform...after that, we may still feel the magic, or see it for what its worth - something they wear to work!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I Know What's Happening...But Do YOU?
I started my musings in full force today...and the thought that kept running through my head, was when you know the relationship is not going to work out - how does one end it?
I thought about my past breakups, and then I started talking to people. And I got some seriously funny and not so funny responses from both my guy friends and girl friends. Below are some of the funny responses on how people have been broken up with, or have done the breaking up:
1. Phone Call: this may or may not include fake crying from either party, slightly impersonal, but at least you can hear the tone of voice/emotion from the other party while they are doing it.
2. Over Dinner: this one is waaaay more tricky than people give it credit for. The idea is to break up with someone, in person, but in a public setting so that a scene apparently cannot be made. This can go either way. But in the end the person that is being broken up with, is still left feeling humiliated, but this time in public rather than private.
3. A Post It Note: thank you Sex and the City Season 5 for this one! Aside from this particular show, I have not encountered it being done in real life, but this was a popular response from the ladies on how NOT to do it. lol.
4. Text: this method is fast becoming more and more socially acceptable. Especially when you have only been on a few dates with the person, or have been in the "talking" phase and something has been done or said that has irked one party into not wanting to see the other. This is also used as a reminder that the breakup has already taken place, when one party is in denial of the situation.
5. The FB Relationship Status Change: again, this is becoming more and more socially acceptable. Each sides friends/family (all depends on who you have on your friends listing) is made aware of the change with a simple mouse click and it automatically populates news feed. If one person is not aware that the other side is even leaning towards this course of action, it can be shocking, especially if they haven't checked FB for a while and a random friend calls to console them.
6. The "Fade Away": this one is really really popular for when you are just starting to "see" a person, and you figured out fairly quickly that it is not in your best interests to keep it going. Slowly phone calls are phased out (if you even reached that stage), txts and emails also start to slow down and then subsequently stop altogether. This can be done over a longer period of time, or abruptly. Depends on the person doing the "fade away".
With each of the above, it sucks for the person on the receiving end. It does help to obtain closure though...so I do not recommend the "Fade Away", nothing beats, down and dirty, telling the person straight out whats happening.
Cause I don't know about you, but I would much rather have someone be honest with me, than have me come home and confronted with the other person not only having sex with someone else, but then realizing, that someone else is wearing my shoes!
I thought about my past breakups, and then I started talking to people. And I got some seriously funny and not so funny responses from both my guy friends and girl friends. Below are some of the funny responses on how people have been broken up with, or have done the breaking up:
1. Phone Call: this may or may not include fake crying from either party, slightly impersonal, but at least you can hear the tone of voice/emotion from the other party while they are doing it.
2. Over Dinner: this one is waaaay more tricky than people give it credit for. The idea is to break up with someone, in person, but in a public setting so that a scene apparently cannot be made. This can go either way. But in the end the person that is being broken up with, is still left feeling humiliated, but this time in public rather than private.
3. A Post It Note: thank you Sex and the City Season 5 for this one! Aside from this particular show, I have not encountered it being done in real life, but this was a popular response from the ladies on how NOT to do it. lol.
4. Text: this method is fast becoming more and more socially acceptable. Especially when you have only been on a few dates with the person, or have been in the "talking" phase and something has been done or said that has irked one party into not wanting to see the other. This is also used as a reminder that the breakup has already taken place, when one party is in denial of the situation.
5. The FB Relationship Status Change: again, this is becoming more and more socially acceptable. Each sides friends/family (all depends on who you have on your friends listing) is made aware of the change with a simple mouse click and it automatically populates news feed. If one person is not aware that the other side is even leaning towards this course of action, it can be shocking, especially if they haven't checked FB for a while and a random friend calls to console them.
6. The "Fade Away": this one is really really popular for when you are just starting to "see" a person, and you figured out fairly quickly that it is not in your best interests to keep it going. Slowly phone calls are phased out (if you even reached that stage), txts and emails also start to slow down and then subsequently stop altogether. This can be done over a longer period of time, or abruptly. Depends on the person doing the "fade away".
With each of the above, it sucks for the person on the receiving end. It does help to obtain closure though...so I do not recommend the "Fade Away", nothing beats, down and dirty, telling the person straight out whats happening.
Cause I don't know about you, but I would much rather have someone be honest with me, than have me come home and confronted with the other person not only having sex with someone else, but then realizing, that someone else is wearing my shoes!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Does a Week Make a Difference?
I have been super lax in my writings of late...but then I have also been super lax in my musings of late too.
But have you ever heard the saying "What a Difference a Week Makes"? or "Give it a week, it will sort its self out"? Usually the people that have been saying either of these phrases to me, are older, like grandmother older. The oddest part, is that I am starting to see the value in the sayings.
Since camping, a week has made a HUGE difference in my life. It has allowed me to refocus and de-clutter crap from my head...which has made it a little more lonely up there, but hey! its at least organized.
Since the end of May, early June it has felt as if I was wearing rose colored glasses...in under a week, I was able to see again with such clarity and crispness, that I feel as if I am looking through a rifle scope.
Basically it boils down to the fact that I feel as if in under a week, I was able to reclaim myself, my identity, my goals and more importantly my laughter. In under a week I realized that I shouldn't compromise myself for anything or anyone. In under a week, I have my zest and moxie for life back, and frankly, I know that it will not be going anywhere anytime soon.
If someone who really didn't buy into the sayings before, can realize this, what do you think you could realize in under a week?
But have you ever heard the saying "What a Difference a Week Makes"? or "Give it a week, it will sort its self out"? Usually the people that have been saying either of these phrases to me, are older, like grandmother older. The oddest part, is that I am starting to see the value in the sayings.
Since camping, a week has made a HUGE difference in my life. It has allowed me to refocus and de-clutter crap from my head...which has made it a little more lonely up there, but hey! its at least organized.
Since the end of May, early June it has felt as if I was wearing rose colored glasses...in under a week, I was able to see again with such clarity and crispness, that I feel as if I am looking through a rifle scope.
Basically it boils down to the fact that I feel as if in under a week, I was able to reclaim myself, my identity, my goals and more importantly my laughter. In under a week I realized that I shouldn't compromise myself for anything or anyone. In under a week, I have my zest and moxie for life back, and frankly, I know that it will not be going anywhere anytime soon.
If someone who really didn't buy into the sayings before, can realize this, what do you think you could realize in under a week?
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Another Way? Really? Who'd Think That?
The last few days I have been at a loss as to what to write...its not that I have writers block by any means, I had just been experiencing difficulty getting my thoughts in order and into the written word...okay, thats writers block. lol.
I have come to realize in this time frame that I have been very stuck in my ways. VERY stuck in my ways when doing things - everything that requires detailed planning right down to little things, like how I like to put my asparagus on tin foil when using the BBQ or a camp fire to cook it.
I have become so used to having to take charge, that I have failed to see that there are people around me that can take charge and get the job done too. May be using a different method, but still the job gets done.
In talking with a number of close friends lately, the message is the same. Chill out. Enjoy what comes and realize that I can count on someone.
May be that's the key here: being able to count on someone. I am not referring entirely to welder mouse, but more so the friends that I have around me. All very capable people, all with different life experiences, all different backgrounds. All different ways of getting things done.
So I am taking the sound advice...I am going to take a deep breath, and let it all happen. Regardless if it gets done my way or not. It is going to be hard, but I honestly think that it will be more fun and less stressful.
PS. I totally survived camping...and I kinda liked it!
I have come to realize in this time frame that I have been very stuck in my ways. VERY stuck in my ways when doing things - everything that requires detailed planning right down to little things, like how I like to put my asparagus on tin foil when using the BBQ or a camp fire to cook it.
I have become so used to having to take charge, that I have failed to see that there are people around me that can take charge and get the job done too. May be using a different method, but still the job gets done.
In talking with a number of close friends lately, the message is the same. Chill out. Enjoy what comes and realize that I can count on someone.
May be that's the key here: being able to count on someone. I am not referring entirely to welder mouse, but more so the friends that I have around me. All very capable people, all with different life experiences, all different backgrounds. All different ways of getting things done.
So I am taking the sound advice...I am going to take a deep breath, and let it all happen. Regardless if it gets done my way or not. It is going to be hard, but I honestly think that it will be more fun and less stressful.
PS. I totally survived camping...and I kinda liked it!
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