Just about 2 weeks ago now, I was out celebrating with a girl friend on her brand new license for first aid instructing. I had mentored her through the process and she nailed on the first go around...so needless to say, a night of fake eyelashes, heels and drinks were immediately called for.
We were having a great time, and were fairly well into our cups and dancing when we pulled off to the side, to catch our breath, cool down and to get another drink.
At that juncture, over walks this dark haired, blue eyed, fairly tall young gentleman, keep in mind, I wear 4" heels at a minimum and he was taller than me in heels still. I honestly thought that he was going to talk to my friend, cause she was on one heck of a roll that night. Nope. He wanted to talk to me (score!).
He gave me his name and we started talking. Turns out that he is a triathlete (seem to be running into a few of those lately hmmmm...trend?) and was also looking to run a full marathon this year. Now, I have to admit that I had a lil geek out moment at the mention of marathons, and this did not appall him.
One exchange of numbers later, and the txts back and forth started to happen the next afternoon.
Plans were made to have coffee on a night upcoming in the week where it suited both of our schedules, and I was both excited and a little nervous. I knew that he was younger, but I was trying to figure out just HOW much younger he was than me. A few things threw me off right away. He completely his journeyman mechanic courses, and was in his last year in a teaching degree and he referred a number of times "to when I was young" in sentences. Okay, no freak out not required at this point, but put on the reserve list.
Coffee was great. Tentative plans were made for another meet up...and then I sent the "how old are you" txt a few days later. I was floored at the response. "I just turned 22. How old are you?" "Turning 31 this year" FML. A few years difference is okay, 4-5 max. But 9?? I was going to be okay with this whole thing in the terms of just being friends, until he txtd later that
same night saying that he would love to "date a hot cougar".
Oh heck no hunny, you did not just go there! I was trying not to shed tears and laugh my behind off at the same time.
One thing to really keep in mind, is that cougars are attractive, in their sexual prime, and who know what they want and are not afraid to go after it. A sizable misconception is that cougars dress cheaply, wear hot pink nail polish and adorn themselves head to toe in animal print and have bleached hair that glows under black lights. True cougars are classy beautiful creatures, who have made their successes on their own, have real brains, and are real head turners. Cougars generally do not need to sneak attack younger guys, they know that their younger mates are eager and willing to get an experienced woman who won't ask if they will call them in the morning. Being a cougar, according to Urban Dictionary and Google can and usually is a good/positive thing.
*Insert the Quagmire giggidy, giggidy here*
I asked a number of friends when I had crossed over into Cougarville and why was I not told that I was taking that off ramp. Apparently, the majority of responses were that I hadn't.
There are levels that one must complete prior to being a full coug. First there is cheetah, then puma and THEN cougar. After that there are various levels to being a silver fox and upwards. Holy hannah! Confusing! Age parameters are usually assigned to each of the various levels, just in case the genetic code of the cougar is such that you are not able to tell, or they have had enough work done to look as if they have been pumped up and put in a wind tunnel.
As I have not reached the age requirement in being a full Coug, I can rest easy. But I do have to be careful, cause the Cougar Crossover is going to happen and that I need to handle it with class, or marry the next guy that comes along as to avoid it!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Mixed Signals
Lately things have become fairly hectic in my little world. And not hectic in a good way. Usually I can attend to most things that come my way with ease, and relatively fleeting fuss. Unfortunately there has been an upswing in the drama department (specifically to others ex's...stay tuned for a post on that one!), and man oh man, do I feel at odds!
The biggest thing that I have noticed, in addition to the extra drama, is the amount of mixed signals that both sexes have been putting out lately. Shame on all of us.
According to Urban Dictionary mixed signals or mixed messages is defined as: a situation to which a person is receiving verbal or non verbal cues that seem to contradict each other, from another person. Typical reactions to this behavior are confusion, anger and a willingness to cease communication with the person.
In the last month I have experienced all 3 of the described above reactions.
Take for a example confusion: I went on a drink thing/date with a lovely gentleman a while back. The thing/date lasted for a number of hours with what I assumed was lively discourse. The thing/date ended with him saying "I had a great time, and would love to do this again, I will call you on such and such a time" ... the call never happened. I found out from mutual friends later, that apparently he "couldn't get me to shut up" ... hmmm ...confused much?
At this point here enters anger: in a completely separate situation, a close male friend really pushed my buttons not too long ago. He would always txt, and call, and do coffee or dinner or hanging out with me and Mr Ari at the dog park. Always there if I needed him, but uber flirty all the time. There in lies the problem. We would be out having drinks either by ourselves, or with friends and would literally act like my boyfriend of years. He would not allow other guys to hit on me (granted I was grateful for some of the interesting applicants that tried to, to be turned away lol). The thing that really made me angry was that it was a double standard. He could act that way, but come hell or high water if I tried to get it the way of him hitting on some lady "with a heart of gold". To have this behavior stop, it literally took me yelling at him, and not returning calls or txts for the better part of this month.
A willingness to cease communication: the last gentleman that I would classify as exclusively dating, recently tried to re-establish communications. He called, he txt'd and he emailed constantly. I gave in and finally listened to what he had to say. Now, you need to bear in mind, that with this gentleman, he lives in Ontario, and has apparently been trying to "find the perfect job and come back out west and sweep me off my feet again". In talking to him, he said that he was still trying his hardest to find that job, and move back out here. I prodded a little more. To which I found out that he was offered a job in Calgary, that would pay for his move back to Alberta, and increase his salary and the 'effer turned it down. So, the jist of the conversation was "I want you back, but not right now. But I want you to think of me like you did when we were dating and get excited that I may move back, at some point. No idea when though". Seriously? Not happening.
Now all three examples were from just me, there are plenty more where my guy and girl friends are concerned. I honestly wish that people could just move past the mixed signal/message hump, and figure out which direction they want to take things.
May be North Americans need a little more gumption. I know in Brazil (as I was told this by a Brazilian), if someone likes another person they tell them right away. No beating around the bush. If its reciprocated, great, if not, great and life goes on.
I for one will now adopt that attitude. Being straight up with people, is sometimes hard for others to comprehend, but honestly, work smart not hard. Just tell them.
The biggest thing that I have noticed, in addition to the extra drama, is the amount of mixed signals that both sexes have been putting out lately. Shame on all of us.
According to Urban Dictionary mixed signals or mixed messages is defined as: a situation to which a person is receiving verbal or non verbal cues that seem to contradict each other, from another person. Typical reactions to this behavior are confusion, anger and a willingness to cease communication with the person.
In the last month I have experienced all 3 of the described above reactions.
Take for a example confusion: I went on a drink thing/date with a lovely gentleman a while back. The thing/date lasted for a number of hours with what I assumed was lively discourse. The thing/date ended with him saying "I had a great time, and would love to do this again, I will call you on such and such a time" ... the call never happened. I found out from mutual friends later, that apparently he "couldn't get me to shut up" ... hmmm ...confused much?
At this point here enters anger: in a completely separate situation, a close male friend really pushed my buttons not too long ago. He would always txt, and call, and do coffee or dinner or hanging out with me and Mr Ari at the dog park. Always there if I needed him, but uber flirty all the time. There in lies the problem. We would be out having drinks either by ourselves, or with friends and would literally act like my boyfriend of years. He would not allow other guys to hit on me (granted I was grateful for some of the interesting applicants that tried to, to be turned away lol). The thing that really made me angry was that it was a double standard. He could act that way, but come hell or high water if I tried to get it the way of him hitting on some lady "with a heart of gold". To have this behavior stop, it literally took me yelling at him, and not returning calls or txts for the better part of this month.
A willingness to cease communication: the last gentleman that I would classify as exclusively dating, recently tried to re-establish communications. He called, he txt'd and he emailed constantly. I gave in and finally listened to what he had to say. Now, you need to bear in mind, that with this gentleman, he lives in Ontario, and has apparently been trying to "find the perfect job and come back out west and sweep me off my feet again". In talking to him, he said that he was still trying his hardest to find that job, and move back out here. I prodded a little more. To which I found out that he was offered a job in Calgary, that would pay for his move back to Alberta, and increase his salary and the 'effer turned it down. So, the jist of the conversation was "I want you back, but not right now. But I want you to think of me like you did when we were dating and get excited that I may move back, at some point. No idea when though". Seriously? Not happening.
Now all three examples were from just me, there are plenty more where my guy and girl friends are concerned. I honestly wish that people could just move past the mixed signal/message hump, and figure out which direction they want to take things.
May be North Americans need a little more gumption. I know in Brazil (as I was told this by a Brazilian), if someone likes another person they tell them right away. No beating around the bush. If its reciprocated, great, if not, great and life goes on.
I for one will now adopt that attitude. Being straight up with people, is sometimes hard for others to comprehend, but honestly, work smart not hard. Just tell them.
Monday, January 9, 2012
3 - 5 Days
This last Friday night I went out with the girls and participated in one of their belated birthday parties. At this party, the birthday girl had invited a number of her male co-workers, to which I hit it off with one of them and had a interesting conversation throughout the evening (yes, a conversation, I was the DD lol). Prior to leaving, he jumped right in and asked me for my phone number with confidence, saying "I would love to see you again".
I happily gave him my phone number.
Now the first step towards any relationship is the inital meeting. Check. Then subsequent exhange of contact information. Double Check, and correct contact information too. Now to wait until he contacts me. But before that happens, a period of time (apparently) must be established before either that happens.
*Insert final Jepardy! music here*
In talking with the gents and ladies, there is a considerable divide in what the sexes and Google (of all things) thought was correct.
The majority of responses from the gentlemen was that it depened on the girl. If they liked her, they would usually contact her right away, or at the very least within the first few (meaning 2) days of meeting her, and a phone call would be made. If they were unsure, a text would be sent in place of the phone call. A lot of times though, the gentleman has had time to reflect (aka sober up) and determined that he would have nothing in common with the girl and thus, not contact her through any means.
The lion's share of the ladies responses was a hard and fast 3 days. If there has been no contact within that time frame, NEXT!
Google actually recomends waiting anywhere from 3-5 days, to allow for time the first meeting to sink in, and to ensure that the other person (especially if the gentleman is doing the calling) does not feel as if its a booty call.
Now, I fully understand and appreicate that life can happen at any moment, and that might delay the contact. But as there does not appear to be any hard and fast play book for this, waiting it out to your own criteria is the way to go.
As Google is the bearer of all knowledge, coupled with the fact that I am so completely inept at these types of things, this guy, technically has anywhere from tonight, until Wednesday night of this week to call. I just wonder if I have the patience for dating after all!
I happily gave him my phone number.
Now the first step towards any relationship is the inital meeting. Check. Then subsequent exhange of contact information. Double Check, and correct contact information too. Now to wait until he contacts me. But before that happens, a period of time (apparently) must be established before either that happens.
*Insert final Jepardy! music here*
In talking with the gents and ladies, there is a considerable divide in what the sexes and Google (of all things) thought was correct.
The majority of responses from the gentlemen was that it depened on the girl. If they liked her, they would usually contact her right away, or at the very least within the first few (meaning 2) days of meeting her, and a phone call would be made. If they were unsure, a text would be sent in place of the phone call. A lot of times though, the gentleman has had time to reflect (aka sober up) and determined that he would have nothing in common with the girl and thus, not contact her through any means.
The lion's share of the ladies responses was a hard and fast 3 days. If there has been no contact within that time frame, NEXT!
Google actually recomends waiting anywhere from 3-5 days, to allow for time the first meeting to sink in, and to ensure that the other person (especially if the gentleman is doing the calling) does not feel as if its a booty call.
Now, I fully understand and appreicate that life can happen at any moment, and that might delay the contact. But as there does not appear to be any hard and fast play book for this, waiting it out to your own criteria is the way to go.
As Google is the bearer of all knowledge, coupled with the fact that I am so completely inept at these types of things, this guy, technically has anywhere from tonight, until Wednesday night of this week to call. I just wonder if I have the patience for dating after all!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
2011 in Review
I have been somewhat down in the dumps of late...the latter half of 2011 really threw me for the biggest loop that I have ever been apart of.
So, to help dig myself out of the proverbial hole, I wrote down everything that was positive about my year:
1. My race season was amazing. I not only started 5 half marathons, but I finished them all. Medals are hanging on the wall, and there was a hug at the end of those runs. The Hypo Half, RunWild Half, Red Deer Half, Intact Half and Melissa's Half. I may have broken my toe twice in 2011, but that's still one heck of a race season!
2. Ari Gold is still alive (woot woot!). And because of this, I have reconsidered my stance on lacking the 'mom' gene.
3. I went camping AND hiking on two separate trips. For those that know me, this is kind of a big deal. I generally do not like the outdoors, but in challenging myself, I actually had a lot of fun.
4. I gave dating a solid shot in 2011. I had a number of hilarious miss adventures over the 12 months, but in the end, I did find love. It may have not worked out in the end, but for 5 months, I had it in my hands. Which means, that if I found it once, I can find it again.
5. The Spence Diamonds radio announcer is still alive. Not that I had any real plans on removing his set of genetics from the pool, but I am sure that someone has.
6. I reconnected with a great deal of my friends that I had not seen or talked to in quite some time. Movie dates, wing nights, beers, Jersey Shore, laughs and break in adventures abounded.
7. I started to learn Russian in late November/early December, as I was pretty certain that my mind was turning into mush and was determined to combat it. My tutor is awesome, hot and single...so ladies, let me know if you would like to meet him!
8. One of the best things that happened was that uber cute my basement suite flooded repeatedly, thus turning it into Bhagdad. You may think that this isn't a good thing to have happen, and I agree. But the outcome was that I afforded the opportunity to move in with an amazing lady. One who is kind, loving and just plain fun. She has been simply stellar with Ari Gold, and we both love her to pieces.
Reading all of this has brought my spirits up quite a bit. 2011 at first glance may not have been the perfect year, but what year really is? And the fact that I was able to come up with 8 amazing points on why it was a good year off the top of my head was pretty decent.
My resolution for 2012 will be to come up with 9 points.
So, to help dig myself out of the proverbial hole, I wrote down everything that was positive about my year:
1. My race season was amazing. I not only started 5 half marathons, but I finished them all. Medals are hanging on the wall, and there was a hug at the end of those runs. The Hypo Half, RunWild Half, Red Deer Half, Intact Half and Melissa's Half. I may have broken my toe twice in 2011, but that's still one heck of a race season!
2. Ari Gold is still alive (woot woot!). And because of this, I have reconsidered my stance on lacking the 'mom' gene.
3. I went camping AND hiking on two separate trips. For those that know me, this is kind of a big deal. I generally do not like the outdoors, but in challenging myself, I actually had a lot of fun.
4. I gave dating a solid shot in 2011. I had a number of hilarious miss adventures over the 12 months, but in the end, I did find love. It may have not worked out in the end, but for 5 months, I had it in my hands. Which means, that if I found it once, I can find it again.
5. The Spence Diamonds radio announcer is still alive. Not that I had any real plans on removing his set of genetics from the pool, but I am sure that someone has.
6. I reconnected with a great deal of my friends that I had not seen or talked to in quite some time. Movie dates, wing nights, beers, Jersey Shore, laughs and break in adventures abounded.
7. I started to learn Russian in late November/early December, as I was pretty certain that my mind was turning into mush and was determined to combat it. My tutor is awesome, hot and single...so ladies, let me know if you would like to meet him!
8. One of the best things that happened was that uber cute my basement suite flooded repeatedly, thus turning it into Bhagdad. You may think that this isn't a good thing to have happen, and I agree. But the outcome was that I afforded the opportunity to move in with an amazing lady. One who is kind, loving and just plain fun. She has been simply stellar with Ari Gold, and we both love her to pieces.
Reading all of this has brought my spirits up quite a bit. 2011 at first glance may not have been the perfect year, but what year really is? And the fact that I was able to come up with 8 amazing points on why it was a good year off the top of my head was pretty decent.
My resolution for 2012 will be to come up with 9 points.
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