Phew! Its been 8 months of singledom, and man oh man, the new lingo I am picking up never seems to cease. This also appears to be one of the more popular topics that I write about, so here are some new dating/single/seeing/relationship terms for y'all!
1. The Stand Up Guy: according to Urban Dictionary (woot woot! new fav website!), this is a Mafia term (something that is akin to my blood) that refers to a businessman that is not one to bullshit, can be trusted and will do anything for his family. This type of guy when on the dating hunt, is very very elusive. Only coming out in the daylight when all of us gals are at work. This guy is the one that we all wish we were dating, because we know that he won't downgrade our dates or stand us up, that he will return calls and txts promptly, that he wont go out and get smashed the night before meeting our parents for brunch, he holds down continuous employment, can dress himself, knows how to act accordingly in a group setting and has overall incredible hygiene. This is a much like a unicorn, but if you take a close look at your guy friend roster, you more than likely have a few hiding out.
2. The Year of Trampage: this is a year free of judgement for a lady or gentleman (then refered to the Year of Manwhore), where a person is permitted to do whomever, where ever, when ever. In order to qualify for the Year of Trampage/Manwhore one must have broken up from a significant relationship recently, and by significant, we are talking 3 years plus. If under the 3 year requirement, the year can then be reduced to 6 months for 2 years and 3 months for 1 year and so on. Friends of either a man or woman that is participating in this Year, must remember that this is a no judgement year, so close your eyes, plug your ears and smile!
3. The Downgraded Date: this is my new favorite term by far. Boy asks girl (all scenarios can easily be switched around), on a date on a Sunday. Girl accepts. Girl confirms date is still a go on Thursday. Boy then "magically" remembers a friends birthday party for the time of the date planned. Boy offers to cancel, but expresses that he still really wants to see the Girl, so "how about the afternoon instead?". Do not be confused, this IS the proverbial slap in the face. Through use of non verbal communication, Boy has then told Girl that "she is not a priority over and above drinking with buddies and therefore should not waste her time with me". Ladies, move on. This is NOT a stand up guy. Now, as an exception to most things, life does come into play, such as a death, car accident ect. But should be treated on a case by case basis. Tread lightly.
4. The Stand Up: this is a tactic employed by both guys and gals who do not wish to participate in a date, and is generally used in place of being a real person and calling/txting to cancel. People who engage this strategy are usually cowards, or cocky POS's, that honestly think that the person they made plans with is of a lower class/status than they are. What they are forgetting is that its the other way around. In chatting with a number of my guy friends, not one of them has ever stood a girl up. They have at least done their best to use any form of communication to cancel or reschedule the date. Ladies and gents, it takes 2 seconds to send a txt, don't be a namby pamby.
5. The Pimp Bench: this is a post break up or Year of Trampage/Manwhore, rotation of the opposite sex that you can have a good time with, cause they are super chill. You cycle these people on and off the bench to keep things markedly superficial. This also assist in avoiding the "rebound".
Even though I realized not too long ago that I am much better at being in a relationship than out of one, I am feeling way more at ease with dating this time around. I credit this to figuring out the lingo.
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