If you have red hair, people expect you to have a certain type of energy, especially when it comes to the temper department...brunettes really do get the short end of the stick in my mind. Expected to be fairly smart, reasonable/realistic, logical, practical, sometimes called mousey, respectful, grounded ect, ect, ect. But when your a blond, people really do not expect a lot out of you. They expect you to be Barbie-ish, flippant, unintelligent, halfwitted, scatterbrained, insane (look out for the crazy blond!), great arm candy (don't worry hunny, at least your pretty!) and so on and so on.
I am a natural blond, really. I do add highlights to get it to the color it is now, but seriously I am a natural blond (dirty blond some may call the color). As a blond I really do have more fun. Mostly with being able to pull off what I like to refer to as "Moments of Greatness"...things that other hair colors would face the Spanish Inquisition for. One such event happened yesterday when I was teaching my weekend 3 day class.
I teach First Aid...and as such I have to be able to not only stand for long periods of time lecturing, but also be able to deal with the up and down motions of getting to the practical area, and demonstrating. A number of months ago I determined that it would be in my best interests to invest in jeggings. These pants would give me the look of jeans, but with the fluidity of LuLu pants.
Yesterday, as I was bending down to inspect knots my students did while splinting a simulated lower leg fracture, a Moment of Greatness seized me...the crotch of my beloved jeggings blew right out. POOF! Yes, it totally did make that sound. I froze, complete with a deer in the head lights look plastered all over my face. My coo-ca was now free for the world to see, tenuously covered in the brand new VS undies I had gotten on sale the day before (thanks AD for the heads up on the sale btw). The students started to howl in laughter, and one of them went so far as to start cracking fat jokes. Seriously? FML.
When the students were writing their quiz at the end of the day, I was sitting at the instructors table, thinking: Was this really the worst moment of greatness that I had managed to accomplish? The answer was a big fat NO.
So here are a few of my favorite Moments of Greatness that I have achieved to date:
- getting hit by the Prime Ministers black SUV. Yep. Totally happened. I was in Ottawa a number of years ago working with the NAIT Students Association and I was there to lobby MP's, Senators and staffers alike on Apprenticeship Student Issues. I was touring parliamentary grounds, specifically the library. I looked at my watch, realized that I was going to be late for a meeting, I did not have my briefing notes with me and would have to go back to the hotel and rush back. This lead me to ask the tour guide for the quickest way out, which was out the backside of the library. I was running, in heels, not paying attention, but on the sidewalk and WHAM! The front passenger door swings open, out pops this huge body guard, and I am flat on my ass, winded. Stephen Harper climbs out of the back passenger side, waves and walks into the back library door that I had just ran out of. No one helped me up, it was super fantastic. Especially when I had a meeting with PMO staffers the next day and was recognized.
- walking into walls on more than one occasion. I was on the phone with my younger brother and putzing around my condo a few years back...not paying attention again, and thud! walked right into the end of the hallway wall. Funny thing about this? My brother commented on how I should be looking where I am going when walking around...this must happen to me TOO often, cause remember, I was on the phone with him.
- having an ex bf that is now a city cop, pull you over for speeding. This is mortifying enough, also a technical conflict of interest (I personally love this loop hole!), but the best part of this, I was half naked. Late for a date, I decided that stripping down in the car while driving would be in my best interest. I even had to change into a strapless bra, which is what I was doing when the lights came on in the rear view. "Hi Sean, how are you? Uniform looks great btw" "Do I want to know?" "Probably not...but how much over was I?" "10km. Where were you headed?" "Sweet, not as much as I thought then. Umm...date night?" ticket book flips shut "Finish getting dressed. Don't speed. Have a good night. Good Luck"
There are plenty of others: I have locked my students in a classroom before, with me in the hallway, I have been so off on my gaydar, that I have hit on gay men (note the pluralization here...this also has happened more than once) and sometimes when running, the natural gas builds up so much that when it comes out the bottom half, I sound like a machine gun when passing people (my running partner HT, laughed at this every time).
Performing moments of greatness is just apart of being human I suppose. Over the years I have learned to tough it out, roll with it and laugh. I mean, I'm a blond. I am expected to embarrass the hell out of myself on a routine basis, right?
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
A State of Mental Preparedness
This last Monday I officially started back at hot yoga after renewing my membership with Moksha Yoga. I was totally thrilled about it, mainly because you sweat like a mfer, but you see results in weight loss and definition fairly quickly if you challenge yourself during the class (which I do, every time I am there).
Just as I was getting ready to go into 'dancers pose' a wave of uneasiness settled in on me fairly quickly. I brushed it off, got into the pose and held it for as long as required. Shortly afterwards, we moved into floor work and during the back stretches/strengthening, this is when it hit me full force:
I start 4 months of marathon training in 2 weeks. I am in a relationship that is awesome, and I really need to acknowledge to myself that welder mouse is now my bf. I opened up Blue Box First Aid and need to ensure not only its success but longevity. And my house flooded.
At the time, I felt that I was not mentally prepared for any of it and darn near had a breakdown right then and there in the yoga studio. Thank goodness that it was already hot in there, so my face was already red, and with the sweat, the few tears that did fall went unnoticed.
One of my all time favorite quotes goes as follows: Anyone can give up, its the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.
Even though I felt overwhelmed, I had such a moment of clarity. The only thing that has really been holding me back for the last few months, as been me and my own hangups on things.
Training: Yes, training for a marathon last year was one of the toughest physical and mental things that I ever did, just to say I did it (aside from climbing Mt Sinai at 2 am). I was in amazing shape, I was calm, and more importantly, I could eat what I wanted without real concern. I just didnt drink during training. Quickly breaking things down, I realized that I was more upset about having to go dry, than having a constant blister on my pinky toes, to be physically exhausted for 16 straight weeks and to listen to angry rock music to propel me upwards during hill training. Marathon training is a bag drive, no lie, but I did it once, and darn it! I am doing it again.
The New BF: I never thought that I would be in a semi serious relationship again so soon after my ex. Especially one with such an amazingly independent person. Welder Mouse rocks, and I want to keep him. I am throwing societies ideals out the window with this one, and rolling with it as it comes.
Blue Box First Aid: I am a small business owner now. Time to keep that nose to the grindstone, find clients, work my tail off, find more clients. In between, I get to have a "life". I have heard of the concept before, but never figured that I could obtain it one day. See the section above entitled The New BF, and I am sure that one can piece this together.
My House Flooded: I rent. I have fantastic property managers that had someone over to the house to start working on the clean up and repairs before I even left yoga Monday. I could not have asked for better treatment. It has all been taken care of, so I shouldn't have worried me to begin with.
All of these things, aside from the business owning, I have done or handled before. This time I realized that I do not have to be the sole decision maker, or the one dealing with everything every minute of every day. I have people that I really can count on to help me through things. Friends and family (blood and hand picked) alike.
My state of mental preparedness is solid now. Jump in, both feet, ask questions on the way down and LIVE.
Just as I was getting ready to go into 'dancers pose' a wave of uneasiness settled in on me fairly quickly. I brushed it off, got into the pose and held it for as long as required. Shortly afterwards, we moved into floor work and during the back stretches/strengthening, this is when it hit me full force:
I start 4 months of marathon training in 2 weeks. I am in a relationship that is awesome, and I really need to acknowledge to myself that welder mouse is now my bf. I opened up Blue Box First Aid and need to ensure not only its success but longevity. And my house flooded.
At the time, I felt that I was not mentally prepared for any of it and darn near had a breakdown right then and there in the yoga studio. Thank goodness that it was already hot in there, so my face was already red, and with the sweat, the few tears that did fall went unnoticed.
One of my all time favorite quotes goes as follows: Anyone can give up, its the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.
Even though I felt overwhelmed, I had such a moment of clarity. The only thing that has really been holding me back for the last few months, as been me and my own hangups on things.
Training: Yes, training for a marathon last year was one of the toughest physical and mental things that I ever did, just to say I did it (aside from climbing Mt Sinai at 2 am). I was in amazing shape, I was calm, and more importantly, I could eat what I wanted without real concern. I just didnt drink during training. Quickly breaking things down, I realized that I was more upset about having to go dry, than having a constant blister on my pinky toes, to be physically exhausted for 16 straight weeks and to listen to angry rock music to propel me upwards during hill training. Marathon training is a bag drive, no lie, but I did it once, and darn it! I am doing it again.
The New BF: I never thought that I would be in a semi serious relationship again so soon after my ex. Especially one with such an amazingly independent person. Welder Mouse rocks, and I want to keep him. I am throwing societies ideals out the window with this one, and rolling with it as it comes.
Blue Box First Aid: I am a small business owner now. Time to keep that nose to the grindstone, find clients, work my tail off, find more clients. In between, I get to have a "life". I have heard of the concept before, but never figured that I could obtain it one day. See the section above entitled The New BF, and I am sure that one can piece this together.
My House Flooded: I rent. I have fantastic property managers that had someone over to the house to start working on the clean up and repairs before I even left yoga Monday. I could not have asked for better treatment. It has all been taken care of, so I shouldn't have worried me to begin with.
All of these things, aside from the business owning, I have done or handled before. This time I realized that I do not have to be the sole decision maker, or the one dealing with everything every minute of every day. I have people that I really can count on to help me through things. Friends and family (blood and hand picked) alike.
My state of mental preparedness is solid now. Jump in, both feet, ask questions on the way down and LIVE.
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