I have been single for well over a year now...minus the short time I was off the market with the lovely gent from Ontario. It has been a roller coaster for sure. Trying to figure out who I am again as a singluar person and fully detatching myself from habits that I unfortunately acquired from my last relationship.
I have had a ton of fun though! Reconnecting with friends and becoming closer with those around me. I have learned to adapt and overcome just about any crazy situation that I have found myself in.
Which brings me to the next issue at hand: Valentines Day.
For singles, this is the next biggest holiday/event on the calendar that usually sends us into a darkend corner, shaking like a leaf and pulling our hair out one by one, kinda like Gomer Pile in Full Metal Jacket.
May be it is because I lack the ability to recognize emotions in other humans the majority of times, but I honestly do not understand the fuss, and subsequent mess this day commonly creates.
Urban Dictionary defines Valentines Day as a day to make lonely people depressed and loved people possessed...another day to feel like sh*t because your single...a day to celebrate Saint Valentine and my personal favorite, the reason so many people are born in November.
Apparently being single on Valentines Day is horrific, not ever having celebrated the holiday (yes, even when I was in a relationship, long story). But having done a search on Google for "single + valentines day" more than 82.5 million hits came up on how to 'survive the day'.
With that many survival tips, is it really that bad being single on VDay?
Apparently it is. I have had 2 people of the masculine variation of our species (ones that I am not dating, nor had designs to date either), literally freak out like bats in a belfry over the simple fact that I have plans already for tomorrow night, and it involves a 3 hour training session with my team. It's not that I am adverse to the idea of flowers, a nice dinner and company (chocolates are a no no...super allergic, another long story). My actions/motivations are pretty transparent though: tomorrow is Tuesday. I have practices on Tuesday's and Friday's. I wasn't told that I have tomorrow off, so I attend. *shoulder shrug and hands wiped clean*
It is incredibly distressing to me that so many people build this day up. Incredibly high expecations are set, and if one minor detail is forgotten, or a preset notion of legal tender is not applied, the whole world is set to ruin. I would rather be shown every single day that someone cares. To have flowers randomly show up at my office, just cause. To be swept away on a weekend holiday spur of the moment, and I don't even have to leave town for this. To get a random text message from someone saying that they are thinking of me while they are out of town. To have someone show up at a race, to see me cross the finish line and to provide that all important hug (see post entitled The Runners Hug).
I guess it boils down to this: I don't expect anything of anyone on Valentines Day. The standard of treatment that the greeting card companies promote on Valentines Day is the way I expect to be addressed everyday and money need not be spent to accomplish this. I will not settle for anything less.
High maintenance? May be. But then, this could be why I am single on Valentines Day. Guess I better take a look at some of those 82.5 million survival tips.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Your Ex vs. The Crazy Stick
You met. You went out. You started seeing each other. You made it exclusive. You dated for "X" amount of time. You noticed that something wasn't exactly right. You tried to work on things. You noticed that things were still not exactly right. You ended the relationship. Enter the crazy stick.
Sometimes, people for which ever reason just have a hard time letting go. We have all been there...some worse than others.
I mentioned in an earlier post that there had been a large amount of drama in my life and my friends lives lately and fortunately enough for you dear reader is, that it has a very funny telling!
A number of weeks ago *Marigold was hit by the 'ginger fever', to which she was quite taken with a gentleman with red hair. He is hot, like Prince Harry hot apparently. They went out a number of times, and things are going altogether well evidently. Then, THE night was upon them. They started making out on his couch after a concerted attempt at watching movies. Things quickly progressed and after some articles of clothing were removed, they relocated into his bedroom. More articles of clothing were removed. A quick conversation ensued to see if this is where they wanted things to progress to. It was, and all systems were a go. Out comes the condom.
Now I have to back up the story here slightly. This ginger Prince Harry look-a-like lives on the main floor, of a gated condo complex from what I was told. To which, the shortest gate is 9.5 feet tall.
Just as things were going to be consummated, there was this incredible banging at the exterior bedroom window, followed by a high pitched screeching. The Prince Harry look-a-likes ex girlfriend had scaled the 9.5 foot fence in order to gain access to his ground floor patio, and was now having a dramatic display in minus 40 degree weather. She had obviously been struck repeatedly with the crazy stick. From what the Prince Harry look-a-like told Marigold, he had broken off that particular relationship more than a year ago, but over the last 5 months the ex had taken to the notion that they were going to get back together and had escalated her crazy-ish behavior.
To compound the situation, Prince Harry l.a.l. leaves Marigold in the bedroom, to not only deal with the crazy ex, but to allow her into his home. To which, he persuades her to leave and come back within the hour so that they could "talk". Marigold listening to this in the bedroom, couldn't believe her ears...he was not only enabling the behavior, but because the crazy lady was coming back, she knew that she had to make a quick exit. Passed over in favor of the crazy one. F*ck her life was all she could think...and then she called me on the way home and we had a fantastic laugh about it! Interestingly enough, Marigold is still seeing this Prince Harry look-a-like. Its nothing serious, but the ex has not made a reappearance much to her delight!
Now, not all ex's turn stalker. A good portion do to some scale though. Text messages, phone calls, emails, social media check ups, the random show up here you just happen to be, flowers and then the old fashioned begging and pleading.
I am going to cut some of these ex's some slack here. A lot of the time, mixed messages/signals are given to them that would lead them to believe that things could be different (please see post addressing that very thing). Having been in that very situation last year myself, I can see both sides. Not that I went crazy, but I was lead to believe that I could have a relationship back.
Currently scientists have not fully mapped the genetic code nor the brain. So, there is no way to definitively predict if someone will go crazy due solely to their genetic makeup. But, if your the one doing the breaking up, please, help a crazy out. Don't call. Don't text. Don't email. Just leave the person be to heal on their own. Do not try to be overly kind, or sympathetic. No mixed messages/signals. Cold turkey baby.
Now, simply cross your fingers and hope that the crazy stick is simply too busy beating another person ex and not yours!
*Marigold is a real person and is NOT me...honest.
Sometimes, people for which ever reason just have a hard time letting go. We have all been there...some worse than others.
I mentioned in an earlier post that there had been a large amount of drama in my life and my friends lives lately and fortunately enough for you dear reader is, that it has a very funny telling!
A number of weeks ago *Marigold was hit by the 'ginger fever', to which she was quite taken with a gentleman with red hair. He is hot, like Prince Harry hot apparently. They went out a number of times, and things are going altogether well evidently. Then, THE night was upon them. They started making out on his couch after a concerted attempt at watching movies. Things quickly progressed and after some articles of clothing were removed, they relocated into his bedroom. More articles of clothing were removed. A quick conversation ensued to see if this is where they wanted things to progress to. It was, and all systems were a go. Out comes the condom.
Now I have to back up the story here slightly. This ginger Prince Harry look-a-like lives on the main floor, of a gated condo complex from what I was told. To which, the shortest gate is 9.5 feet tall.
Just as things were going to be consummated, there was this incredible banging at the exterior bedroom window, followed by a high pitched screeching. The Prince Harry look-a-likes ex girlfriend had scaled the 9.5 foot fence in order to gain access to his ground floor patio, and was now having a dramatic display in minus 40 degree weather. She had obviously been struck repeatedly with the crazy stick. From what the Prince Harry look-a-like told Marigold, he had broken off that particular relationship more than a year ago, but over the last 5 months the ex had taken to the notion that they were going to get back together and had escalated her crazy-ish behavior.
To compound the situation, Prince Harry l.a.l. leaves Marigold in the bedroom, to not only deal with the crazy ex, but to allow her into his home. To which, he persuades her to leave and come back within the hour so that they could "talk". Marigold listening to this in the bedroom, couldn't believe her ears...he was not only enabling the behavior, but because the crazy lady was coming back, she knew that she had to make a quick exit. Passed over in favor of the crazy one. F*ck her life was all she could think...and then she called me on the way home and we had a fantastic laugh about it! Interestingly enough, Marigold is still seeing this Prince Harry look-a-like. Its nothing serious, but the ex has not made a reappearance much to her delight!
Now, not all ex's turn stalker. A good portion do to some scale though. Text messages, phone calls, emails, social media check ups, the random show up here you just happen to be, flowers and then the old fashioned begging and pleading.
I am going to cut some of these ex's some slack here. A lot of the time, mixed messages/signals are given to them that would lead them to believe that things could be different (please see post addressing that very thing). Having been in that very situation last year myself, I can see both sides. Not that I went crazy, but I was lead to believe that I could have a relationship back.
Currently scientists have not fully mapped the genetic code nor the brain. So, there is no way to definitively predict if someone will go crazy due solely to their genetic makeup. But, if your the one doing the breaking up, please, help a crazy out. Don't call. Don't text. Don't email. Just leave the person be to heal on their own. Do not try to be overly kind, or sympathetic. No mixed messages/signals. Cold turkey baby.
Now, simply cross your fingers and hope that the crazy stick is simply too busy beating another person ex and not yours!
*Marigold is a real person and is NOT me...honest.
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