Recently, I was asked to see if I wanted to grab a group of my girlfriends and head out to the bar sometime in the near future...the person asking was the guy I have been sudo talking to. I say sudo cause it's by text only - no actual voice contact. He is apparently going to be going out with his guy friends the same night, and 'may be' we can get our entourages to meet in the same place by the end of the night, and it will be 'fun'.
This is called the 'pre planned bar drive by'. Its a way for your friends to check out the other person in a totally judgmental way and get away with it. Just to fuel the fire, more than one person at this juncture of the evening will be three sheets to the wind. Which will quickly be followed up with the sentence "so and so really isn't like this for reals. honest" Insert inappropriate words, phrases, looks, grabbing and emotional outbursts, and the next morning is usually very awkward.
I spoke with one of my colleagues today at work about this situation...at which point I received a blank stare followed quickly by the words "I don't like this and in my opinion his stock is decreasing. At 30, do you really want to be stressed out all night about potentially seeing this guy all drunk and then getting super bummed if for whatever reason you guys do not run into each other by accident on purpose? No. Make him take you to dinner. Coffee. Drinks. Something other than this."
And she is absolutely right. I have grown past that bar scene drama. I was raised with the sound logic that if you work hard and manage your responsibilities well, that "fun" will happen and life will be grand. I am going to assume however, that my parents were talking about what happens after all the kids move out and retirement sets in, not what they were experiencing while us kids were growing up.
In some ways I feel caught between two different worlds...the young side that wants to party all night and make friends with guys named Captain and Jose...but the more responsible side is kicking into high gear and I am not sure how to have 'fun' with this side yet. Cookie cutter houses all in a row, with white picket fences, 2.5 kids, a mini van with store and go seating and a dvd system, deck building, garage tool borrowing and kids themed birthday parties really scare the bejesus out of me.
I guess that the only thing I can do at this point is to give this responsible side a slight twist and see where it takes me. Just keeping the fingers and toes crossed that it will still be fun.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
What Happened to Good Old Fashion Talking?
This last weekend I attended my very first country music concert in a very, very small town in south eastern Alberta. The Rowdy Boys tour featuring Gord Bamford and Aaron Pritchett was a lot more fun than I was expecting...and this little "city" girl wound up wearing a tank top that read "Drinking Buddy" along with a borrowed plaid shirt (thanks Dayna lol).
One thing that I really took notice of, is that the majority of the young people in the crowd, and especially with myself as well - everyone was on their phones, and yet no one was actually talking with the person they were communicating with. WTF?
When did texting replace real communication? What happened to listening to how another person enunciates words? What happened to taking small joy in physically hearing that someone is excited, by how the voice inflects?
I fully understand that there are good reasons to text someone instead of talking to them. Loud environments (like the concert last night), if your in a meeting, in a movie, in church.
One of the girls explained to me that sometimes it is more easy, or comfortable to text someone, rather than talk to them. The person on the receiving end can take their time to respond, or not respond if they feel like it. Less chance of saying something that you might regret later on. This is one way you could look at it, and honestly it has become socially acceptable to abide by.
Another way to look at it, is that we have become a society of namby-pamby's. Fearful of actual human contact which could lead to rejection, dependent on the situation. I am totally guilty of being fearful myself...I have no idea how to tell someone that I have been "talking" with for a short while, that I would like to bring our chats into the real world and have coffee...you have to remember, I have been out of the game for a while. lol.
One thing I know for certain, is that only 7% of the intended message is received via the written word these days. We NEED that voice inflection, eye contact and body language to fully communicate with one and other.
So if I call, will you answer or text me back later?
One thing that I really took notice of, is that the majority of the young people in the crowd, and especially with myself as well - everyone was on their phones, and yet no one was actually talking with the person they were communicating with. WTF?
When did texting replace real communication? What happened to listening to how another person enunciates words? What happened to taking small joy in physically hearing that someone is excited, by how the voice inflects?
I fully understand that there are good reasons to text someone instead of talking to them. Loud environments (like the concert last night), if your in a meeting, in a movie, in church.
One of the girls explained to me that sometimes it is more easy, or comfortable to text someone, rather than talk to them. The person on the receiving end can take their time to respond, or not respond if they feel like it. Less chance of saying something that you might regret later on. This is one way you could look at it, and honestly it has become socially acceptable to abide by.
Another way to look at it, is that we have become a society of namby-pamby's. Fearful of actual human contact which could lead to rejection, dependent on the situation. I am totally guilty of being fearful myself...I have no idea how to tell someone that I have been "talking" with for a short while, that I would like to bring our chats into the real world and have coffee...you have to remember, I have been out of the game for a while. lol.
One thing I know for certain, is that only 7% of the intended message is received via the written word these days. We NEED that voice inflection, eye contact and body language to fully communicate with one and other.
So if I call, will you answer or text me back later?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)