1-800- I'm-Sick

Being single most definitely has its perks. I can go out with friends and the only person(ish) that will be mad at me for coming home late will be Mr Ari Gold, which isn't so bad, because his love can be won back by a simple ear scratch. I can txt my girlfriends late into the night. I can dress up or bum around in my pjs, and not have to worry about impressing anyone other than myself.

There are those few times, when I can say with honesty, that being single sucks. Like when an invitation arrives in the mail for a friends wedding, and it says "so and so, plus guest". I always feel obligated to bring said guest, just so I do not feel left out. It sucks when your the odd person out in a couples dinner party. And with the holidays coming up, people are starting to question as to whether or not I have plans with family, and the 'orphan' invites for the holidays are starting to come in (not that I really mind about these invites, a girls gotta eat!).

The last few days I have been in denial about being sick though. Upon waking this morning with a head that felt like wet cotton, and a nose that was starting to run, and a voice that really wasn't there, I resigned myself to the simple fact, that I am sick. And being single is nothing short of a ruckus when your sick.

For me, this is a nightmare. Mainly because I turn into the biggest girl this planet has ever seen, when sick. I have this overwhelming urge to be indulged. Now, please do not confuse this urge with being "whiny". I am certainly not that, even in this present state. I just would really like chicken soup, decently scripted things on tv, a dog walker for Mr Ari, someone to do my laundry without fear they will shrink it all, and a designated cuddler. Nothing of which is over the top.

I really think that there should be a 1-800 number for singles in times of crisis. "Need a date for a wedding? Press 1. Feeling under the weather? Press 2. Need a guy to a complete a 'honey-do' list around the house? Press 3. For all of the above, press 4" and so on.

If the federal government could come up with a social program for singles, like the one above, I could easily get behind it. In the mean time, I am going to drag my flannel covered derriere, out in zero degree weather (which feels like minus 40), and drive my addled brain over to the closest Tim Horton's to get myself chicken soup.

Same City Dating

Holy man, it has been a while for my musings...people have been asking where the blog has disappeared to, and frankly I do not have a reasonable answer. I could say that it was because of a "lack of dating" on my part, but that is not entirely honest.

I was dating. And breaking a guideline I set for myself at the same time. I tried another long distance relationship. For the better part of August, September, October and a little bit of this month, I was off the market. And I had never felt so manic in my life as during that time frame.

Pulled in two directions: 1) being that the guy I was dating treated me like nothing else, I had no worries when he was around. I felt safe, loved and cherished. 2) he was never around, due to his residing just outside of Toronto, so I may of had those feelings described above, but they didn't occur all that often.

I mused with various friends on the pros and cons of dating this guy for weeks, and then decided that it would be a good idea to jump in with both feet anyway. *Insert roller coaster ride starting now*

Just after Thanksgiving, I gave up in a sense. I just couldn't bring myself to carry on with something that I knew wasn't working on my end - I just did not know how to say it. *insert alcohol consumption, an email and a long distance phone call here* Turns out that he kinda felt the same, and we parted ways.

DEEP BREATHS and sighs of relief.

So now that I am "out and about" once more, I am strictly keeping my focus on my own backyard so to speak. Meaning, same city dating. An amazing concept I know!

I am currently enthralled with the idea of calling someone up and saying "Hey, the movie we were talking about is playing tonight at 9, wanna go?" and "sure I'll pop over after work for dinner and movie watching"

My definition of "normal" has now changed. No longer will I plan weeks in advance on when I will see the person next, or have to budget strictly so I could fly half way across the country to see them, or even be stingy with my vacation time so I have time to spend with him when hes in town.

Normal now means that at the end of the day, I have to face a fear of really letting a person in to my life fully - instead of bits and pieces (which is easy to do when they do not live here!).

Holy man, this is going to be fun!