"What do you do when your seeing/dating a guy, and he is busy with work and other stuff for a lot of the time, you know your not seeing/dating anyone else and neither is he, but you know for a fact that he is not giving you his 'A' game? You know that your getting something equivalent to the 'D' Game."
This was one of my besties burning question tonight at dinner with the girls.
The A Game: this is when a guy pulls out all the stops. He calls, he texts, both of which could be late into the night, he bends over backwards to see you which can include flying across the country as an example. And if he even gets a whiff of competition, he blows them out of the water with amazing accuracy. This is something that a guy gives, when he really really likes a girl and wants to be with her. She is the only object of his attention, and he lets her know it explicitly.
The D Game: this is obviously a few levels below the A Game. Sometimes a guy can start out with the A Game, and then downgrade to a D (this is known as the Bait and Switch) depending on the time of year, the seasons, work, friends, other commitments, overall mood of the guy and how much effort he wants to put into things.
My response to my friend was pretty simple: "How long do you wanna wait around to see if circumstances change, and hope that he upgrades his game to an A? And is there a guarantee that this will happen?" The other girls concurred. My friend nodded her head, pushed around her food a bit more, and then said she had some things to think about with regards to this guy.
Over the last 8 months I have come to realize a few things. Each woman is precious. Yes, even the crazy ones. Each one deserves an A Game at least once in their life. They deserve to be treated like a princess, and have a guy sweep them off their feet and carry them off into the sunset and be happy, for at least a little while.
As much of a realist that I am, even I to a very very small degree, want this. I would love to have the feeling of being the only object of someones attention. To be made to feel special, unique, cherished.
Not being in my friends situation, I can easily become an arm chair coach to her relationship. When I was faced with the same circumstances last year, I waited around, and the A Game never made an appearance, in fact the game downgraded to worse than a G.
But that was in that one situation. And now having seen levels of the game lower than an A, I know that I refuse to settle for anything less. So fellas, word of warning: buckle up and get your gloves ready, cause I only want to see your A Game.
You're absolutely right. Never settle for less than what you truly want and deserve because unfortunately if you do and life starts getting heavier (kids, mortgage etc) it is hard to get out. 20 years later you're wondering where the years went and why you let yourself live this life for so long!! You wish you had been the strong woman years ago to stand up for yourself and demand the A game only. A little B may slip in there from time to time but it should be a A 90% of the time.
ReplyDeleteBut what game are you giving back? If you expect an "A" game but the guy(s) have made mulitple attempts to show you their "A" game and you have been either too busy, etc then it will quickly downgrade to a "D".
ReplyDeleteJust sayin :)