Numbers Game

Last night was December 23rd. Exactly one day before Santa and the Reindeer storm the chimneys around the world much like the Allies did on the beaches of Normandy (minus the loss of life).

The reason why last night was significant, was that I set up a date for drinks at a lounge downtown. The gentleman that I was meeting up with, was introduced to me by friends a number of years ago (when I wasn't single) and I had recently reconnected with him. In describing him to my gf's he was classified as the 'non starter'. Meaning, we had formulated a number of different engagements, but scheduling on either side jumbled up the plans and we simply were not able to connect.

At the time, I was excited with regards to making a Friday night drink date, but then when I was putting it into my calendar I realized how close to Christmas this was going to be. And this got me thinking.

In order to be successful in dating, it boils down to meeting as many people of the opposite sex as possible as to increase the law of averages or your odds so to speak. This may mean broadening your scope to include things that would have counted a potential mate out previously (ie: he has kids, has been married before or both!).

Through talking with friends this week, a number of them agreed on a few points:

- join an organized group activity to meet new people. Having done this before when I started going to yoga, the idea behind this is to ensure that you have something in common to talk to the person about if you 'randomly' run into them outside of the organized setting. Being mindful that you should ensure that this organized group encourages talking amongst its participants.

- current and historical statistics indicate that if you meet a potential mate through friends, you are 80% more likely to marry that person. We have all heard stories about people meeting through a mutual friend, and during the wedding reception they thank that individual for throwing the party ect ect. But this could have a negative impact as well: what if you do not have that many friends you would trust to set you up? And then what happens when you burn through all of the recommendations from your friends?

- Christmas is actually one of the perfect times to start dating someone new. So long as you do not have expectations of uber romance. The reason for this, is that this time of year is stressful. Seriously stressful. Both at work and at home for a large majority of people. I for one would really like to see how someone handles their life stresses, and this would allow me to do so. For guys, this also allows them to see the will power of the female they are interested in...meaning does she stick to her low carb diet during the holidays.

- for your first and/or subsequent second date, ensure that it is something interactive to encourage communication flow. This will verify if you have something in common with the other person. It also helps to weed out the less than stellar options fairly quickly. I have come to learn that when a guy tells me "I am not looking to score, and that I am a nice guy that can let things happen...", that is my cue to run for the the highest hill and dig in.

At the end of the day, dating is very much a numbers game. And just like in Vegas, your betting against the house. But just like Vegas, when you win, you win big.