Same City Dating

Holy man, it has been a while for my musings...people have been asking where the blog has disappeared to, and frankly I do not have a reasonable answer. I could say that it was because of a "lack of dating" on my part, but that is not entirely honest.

I was dating. And breaking a guideline I set for myself at the same time. I tried another long distance relationship. For the better part of August, September, October and a little bit of this month, I was off the market. And I had never felt so manic in my life as during that time frame.

Pulled in two directions: 1) being that the guy I was dating treated me like nothing else, I had no worries when he was around. I felt safe, loved and cherished. 2) he was never around, due to his residing just outside of Toronto, so I may of had those feelings described above, but they didn't occur all that often.

I mused with various friends on the pros and cons of dating this guy for weeks, and then decided that it would be a good idea to jump in with both feet anyway. *Insert roller coaster ride starting now*

Just after Thanksgiving, I gave up in a sense. I just couldn't bring myself to carry on with something that I knew wasn't working on my end - I just did not know how to say it. *insert alcohol consumption, an email and a long distance phone call here* Turns out that he kinda felt the same, and we parted ways.

DEEP BREATHS and sighs of relief.

So now that I am "out and about" once more, I am strictly keeping my focus on my own backyard so to speak. Meaning, same city dating. An amazing concept I know!

I am currently enthralled with the idea of calling someone up and saying "Hey, the movie we were talking about is playing tonight at 9, wanna go?" and "sure I'll pop over after work for dinner and movie watching"

My definition of "normal" has now changed. No longer will I plan weeks in advance on when I will see the person next, or have to budget strictly so I could fly half way across the country to see them, or even be stingy with my vacation time so I have time to spend with him when hes in town.

Normal now means that at the end of the day, I have to face a fear of really letting a person in to my life fully - instead of bits and pieces (which is easy to do when they do not live here!).

Holy man, this is going to be fun!